Happy Halloween!

J.J. Joins Us via PHONE!

Brooke (childhood friend who is proud to keep this blog going) and Ester (J.J.'s sister who started this project!) work together with J.J. on speakerphone straight from prison to create his new hustle - Prison Pops, made with Jolly Rancher candies.

Unfortunately, a Prison Pop is not created, but enjoy hanging with us!   (NOTE J.J. gets very hard to hear between 1:30 and 4:00, but at 4:00 you will hear him again loud and clear.)

Later after this call Phillip (baby brother to J.J. and Ester) showed up and cranked out a Prison Pop with J.J. 

Here is what a Prison Pop looks like when done:

Some Love For Detroit

J.J. and the guys are getting ready to hang out for Game 3 of the World Series 2012.  J.J. is wishing the Detroit Tigers all the best tonight as they play at home.....Detroit, the Motor City!

Deep in the South....

.....this was inspired by J.J.'s love for the Dirty South.

2012 Copyright by Tattoo'd Hooligan

Another piece of art is published!!

Check it out!  Super Street Bike published another piece of art, drawn by non-other but the Judicious Jailbird himself!  Nicely done J.J., nicely done!!!  AND, THANK YOU SUPER STREETBIKE for sharing J.J.'s art!!

Hustle

Nearly everyone has seen that heavily tattooed prisoner.  Most people know doing tattoos is perhaps the biggest chain gang hustle.  There are quite a few others as well….

There’s the guy who puts sugar and rice into a container, along with a few other ingredients, then let’s them sit and ferment.  Heat accelerates this process.  This mix is placed into containers and buried in the ground on the reck field.  This way the guards are less likely to find the brew.  Guys don’t drink to be social.  They drink to get smashed.  Once a batch is cooked, a group of guys will get together and get their drunk on.  A big tumbler of this wine or “buck” as we call it sells for $5.  It takes two cups to get smashed.  Your buzz will cost you approximately $10. 

Once a week our menu is chicken.  The last real meat the department of corrections serves inmates.  Inmates continue to serve each other meat.  But that’s a whole different hustle.  And one we won’t get into. 

The chicken is bland, so…. there’s a hustle for that as well.  Ketchup, mixed with some chili powder, garlic and a few secret ingredients produces a sauce.  The secret is in the mix and that’s why I don’t buy the secret sauce.  However, plenty of people do. 

The sauce man mixes these ingredients and sells the sauce on chicken days.  Hopefully he hasn’t made too many bathroom breaks while he made the sauce.  Or that became another secret ingredient.  Sauce is sold in a glove finger. That’s one serving and will cost you one Ramen Soup, or the equivalent of $.50. 

People in prison love to gamble.  There are square boards passed around on game day.  These are tickets for your favorite teams and point spreads.  We call this guy the ticket man.  The pot (or winnings) can be anywhere from a couple dollars to hundreds.  Gambling is a big hustle.  And prisoners gamble on nearly everything.  Gambling is not limited to sports.  These guys gamble on who will wipe out first in the Nascar race.  They gamble on who will be voted off American Idol first.  They gamble on whose dick is bigger.  Clearly it gets out of hand.  What they need back here is gamblers anonymous. I’ll bet that never happens.

For a bag of coffee a week you can have a guy wash your laundry for you.  The coffee costs $4.80 a bag.  You pay extra to have your boxers washed.  Another guy will make your bunk for you.  For a small fee you can get nearly anything done to you, or for you.

Last week a buddy of mine and I opened the Jolly Pop Factory.  They are called jolly pops because they are made from jolly ranchers.  There are three jolly ranchers to a sucker.  The candies are heated up with hot water and reshaped into a sucker, and then a stick is added.  The stick is a Q-tip with the fuzz removed from each end. 

They sell all day for a soup, or $.50. 

We have $.26 invested between the Q-tips, the candy and the latex glove we form the candy in.  Yeah, that’s right.  We re-form the candy in the fingers of the gloves.  Then leave the candy wrapped in the finger.  We cut them from the glove so they are individually gift-wrapped.  

A Jolly Pop all packaged and ready to be enjoyed!

A Jolly Pop being enjoyed!

A well formed Jolly Pop!

STAY TUNED!!!  I (Brooke, the typist) am going to attempt to make Jolly Pops this weekend and share the video with you!  AND I will be making them with a special guest.....J.J. himself!!  That's right.  No, he is not on this side of the fence yet.  But, he is going to join me on the phone.  

 Next week we (as in J.J. and his buddy) will attempt granola bars.  And now you know too much....

Anything can be your canvas....

 

J.J. was catching up on his news with USA Today when he stumbled upon some amazing art!  Landscape (specifically the Roger Williams Park Zoo in Providence, Rhode Island) was transformed into an art gallery.  Passion for Pumpkins calls it an organic gallery.  And you can see why..... 

“…one of the most brilliant displays of holiday artistry anywhere in the U.S.” - offmetro.com/ny/ - 2011

J.J. loves art.  All art.  He plans to go see this spectacular display one day.  One day when he is on this side.  Free.  Free to move from one spectacular place to another!

 

Muck Boyz

J.J. loves to sling mud!  He has bad-ass memory after bad-ass memory of flying through the muck, and eagerly awaits the day that he is getting dirty, deep in the Florida muck!

Muck Boyz, this is for you!

Copyright 2012 by the Tattoo'd Hooligan

 Do you ride with a club or an organization?  Contact the Tattoo'd Hooligans for graphics!  Make your shirts, signs, trucks, bikes, stickers, website, and more get noticed! 

A Memo Re: Life in Prison

This has been passed all over, from inmate to inmate at J.J's new camp.  Another inmate wrote this, and is letting us share this with you!  (Sorry, this has been scanned to publish, which makes it slightly difficult to read.  But a good read none-the-less.)

Enjoy!

Street Fighter Art

These Street Fighters were drawn up for a gamer who wants a bad-ass arm piece.  What kind of tattoo would you request?

Love Is

This week in music class I listened to a group of guys sing "Love Is What I Got" by Sublime.  At first I smiled.  Then I nearly spilled a tear.  Sitting across from me is my partner.  We left Wakulla C.I. on the same bus.  I've been doing time with this guy for over two years now.  He greets me with a smile.  We work out each morning.

These assholes stole his new shoes the other day.  He's done nearly five years and still has over 10 left to do.  He's only 24 years old.  He is his mothers only son.  Yet tomorrow when I see him?  He's gonna have a smile on his face.  Never fails.

We planned to start a little band and jam out once a week.  Just to free our minds.  The village bullies put down on our little 130 pound drummer and he checked in.  (Side note from Brooke: for those that may not know what that means.  The drummer boy went to the cops and asked to have his things locked up and asked to be put in confinement under protective security due to the incident with the village bullies.)  This was the only way he could avoid getting his ass beat and his lunch money taken.  Fuckin' pricks.  Reminds me of that old country song "I'd love to spit some beechnut in that dude's eye, then shoot him with my old .45."  And where did the good ole' boys go?

Everyone's response to someone stealing your shit is to go beat their ass!  But what if you kill the guy on accident?  What if he falls and hits his head and it's over?  Last time my buddy killed a guy, the judge gave him 20 years.  Perhaps it's logical thinking to just say "take the damn shoes!"  If you go to rehab to rehabilitate yourself, and church to save yourself....what do you come to prison for?  For some, it seems that they come to steal another man's tennis shoes.  Then they walk around thinking they are gangster and stuff.  Like they really did something.  Punk-ass-bitch!

So, I'm here listening to these guys sing "Love is What I Got".  I'm missing a drummer, and my partner is missing his new shoes.  I'm not feeling much love in the room.  The laugh that escaped my mouth was similar to a psyche patient three days behind on pill call.  Then the tear that nearly slid down my cheek.  It' wasn't a salty bead of sadness marking a broken heart.  It was beechnut and .45 rolled into one.  It was "don't tread on me, the ice is thin over here."  It was two fries short of a happy meal.  Prison is not cool.  Some people fit right into this life.  There are others who will go home from  here and never come back.

I'm gonna keep going to my music class.  I need to run a new ad for another drummer.  If you hear of one, please have him contact me.  There's a few good men back here who want to come home to their family.  There's a few families out there who are mighty happy to know their problem child is back here safe and sound.  Let's all pray they don't slip on a broom handle and never get up.  That would be a shame.

I need to run along now....see if I can't find the pill line and take my meds.  Peace and love.  Keep your shoes on your feet people.

The Hooligan