Everythings Gonna Be All Right.....That's what my therapist says

The main character in Shawshank, the final redemption, carries dirt from his cell to the rec yard.  He takes a little each day in the cuff of his pants.  He successfully dug a tunnel through his cell wall and all the way to freedom.  One trip to the rec field at a time.

When you give a diligent man enough time to think, great things can happen.

I came to prison a construction worker that sold drugs.  Over the past 10 years I learned how to paint murals, play an excellent chess game and tattoo.  I have trademarked two businesses and made my peace with God.  I became a dad to my daughter, quit smoking and have been free from drugs.

Prison pushed me well past the red-line.  What I thought was my max-out wasn't even half way there.  Being released at age 40 doesn't scare me.  I'm ready.  Just like the man who carried his cell wall to the rec field, I fine-tuned a plan to excel in life as soon as I'm home.

I'm about to walk out of one life and into another.  I find that excites me.  It doesn't trouble me at all.

I thank everyone who stood beside me.  I thank my savior Jesus Christ.

I also thank the haters.  I thank the fucker who told my kid that I'll probably offend and come back.  I thank the asshole who told her statistics show many come back to prison and that she shouldn't wrap her heart up in me too much.

Thank you.

From the bottom of my heart, with every fiber of my being, I'm standing tall with one finger in the air.

Many loved to see me fall.  I'm standing back up now.  I asked my daughter what she said when she was told I'll probably fail......she said, "Not my Dad."

How could I fail when I have a team like that?

Times Up!!

Hope....the spark that gives us just enough to push us past the finish line.  That last bit of strength when we really need it.

I know what its like to wake in the night, not remember where you are...and think you're back home.  It took months for me to realize this isn't a dream, this is my life.

And when you finally realize that, its the day something dies and you break a little on the inside.

You give in to this being your home.

Over time you pull it back together.  Salvage pieces and build something.  This decides the weight of the man.  Prison isn't easy.  It isn't easy for the people who love you and you drag them into this shit along with yourself.

These days I dream of freedom.  I dream while I'm awake.  I wonder how it will feel...to be free.  How will it taste?  The air out there....

I don't have a clue.  Don't know if I'll break down and cry.  I may make it through the gate without tears....time will tell.

My daughter just told me she will be there when I get home.

She turned 21 a couple weeks ago.  The last time I saw her she was eight years old.  I'm about to be free and to get my daughter back.  Begin my life once again.

Second times got to mean more than the first. It will to me.  I won't take anything for granted.

I lived this life.  Felt the hurt, the pain, the loss.  But I never let the dream die.  I always dreamed big.  I have a feeling this is going to be WAY bigger than I have ever dreamed.