Please Be Sweet & Lift The Seat!

Oh, my......your Judicious Jailbird is baaaaack!  With his very J.J. way of sharing a recent experience.....

Ever heard the saying "Men are pigs?"  Sure you have!

I gave this some thought and came to the same conclusion.  Of course, I did my thinking while on the toilet.  Yes.  The throne of higher thinking.  As I sat, taking care of my daily duty, I watched another man sit on the toilet next to me.  He had a newspaper in one hand, and a mug of coffee in the other.  I said to myself, "Well, there is is!" 

He's going to drink coffee while he smells his own shit.  Very nice.  The same guy is probably opposed to the courtesy flush.  Something we do here in prison so the man next to you doesn't have to smell you.  There is always that guy who just sits on that turd while he drinks that coffee and reads that newspaper. He may even look down at it from time to time to see how big it is.  Then, look at the toilet paper after he wipes. 

And....he is also probably the same dude that doesn't understand why a woman says he's a pig.

I'm a man.  There have been a couple times someone's called me a pig.  Usually it's while looking at some fine ass heading the other way on the beach.  Never because of my bathroom habits.  I'm a fan of the courtesy flush, and I don't find 'poop' amusing.  Now pee?  Well, pee is another topic altogether.

I told my lady that since we will have boys in the house, I want to install a urinal.  Boys like to try and pee in the hole, but hit the seat instead.  That's because they try to spell their name.  Men do the same.  When I was a boy my name was written all over the yard in snow banks.  Of course, I lift the lid on the toilet, but then I draw circles and do the alphabet as well.  I don't feel that I'm a pig, but I never fully grew up either.

Boys think new stuff and different stuff is cool.  So, I want a urinal.  The boys will love it.  As long as they don't try to poop in it.  That could cause a problem.

There are full grown men here in prison who pee all over the seat.  And that's when six urinals are only two feet from the toilets.  This is avoidable if you can present a man with a cool place to piss.

I'm a biker.  I attend biker events nearly once a month while on the street.  Biker bars create a long tub for bikers to pee in.  Like a beer tub.  Except they fill it with ice as well.  This serves two purposes: 1) keeps the smell and splash down and 2) as you pee, you melt the ice.  This is fun.  This makes a man want to drink more beer, so you can once again go melt some ice.  At least someone is capitalizing on the whole "men are pigs" thing.

For what it is worth, I'm trying to change the world's view of at least myself.  I can't really change the way other men are looked at.  When you truly begin to care, you realize change comes from within.  We could all use a little change.  You could start by putting the seat up before you piss.  Yeah, I kind of singled the guys out here.

But....if you're a woman and your man puts up the seat and you seldom catch him checking out that other ass?.....perhaps you could cut back the bitching.  Yeah....we have sayings for you all too.  It's a two-way street ladies. 

You all slow down out there.  Wear your seat belts and process with caution.

Yours Truly.     

Confinement Art #1

Here is the first piece of art that J.J. drew during his recent solitary confinement time.....

 

To Challenge Your Thinking

I recently was pleased to visit with Michael at the prison that is currently his address.  It had been 13 months since my last visit….very overdue.  Up until this past year I was able to see him about every six months.  Due to a change in jobs I could not make my normal mid-winter visit and thus the long interval.  Regular readers of JJ know me as The MOM. 

Yes, I have read every post on the blog.  Some have been extremely hard for me to read, some make me laugh, some make me cry and others have made me shudder.

Prison is not rehabilitation, but rather punishment.  There are lots of differing philosophies in that regard, but I won’t bore you with them.  I wanted to bring an interesting topic to the forefront as it is something Michael and I discussed at length during one of our recent visits.  That topic is drug addiction.

Readers know that Michael was an addict for several years.  Yes, he was raised in a strict and religious home.  If I can digress for a moment….rules without relationship brings rebellion.  (That was free!!)  At about the age of 17 he had an experience that shattered his world as he knew it.  I remember the day he came home, got in his car and drove to Florida.  For the next dozen years he buried himself in drugs.  I lived far enough away to not know all the “in’s and out’s” of what was going on….but I knew things were not right.

During that period of time he made many poor choices and many wrong decisions.  The consequence of his actions, while under the control of drugs, is prison.  His underlying problem was drug addiction. 

Now he is free of those addictions.

Our recent conversation went something like this.  “Son, people would say to you that it is easy to say you are free from drugs when you are behind bars.  The real test will be when you get out…will you be able to stay clean?”  That sounds like a reasonable question.  We both laughed.  Why?  Because drugs are as available in prison as they are outside….they probably just cost more.

I remember when I had those same thoughts.  Then I did some research.  You can check it out on the World Wide Web or have a conversation with someone who has done prison time.  Drugs ARE readily available in prison. 

Michael’s being drug free is his choice, not imposed on him by his incarceration.  He makes that choice everyday…sometimes multiple times a day.  If you thought about it….the temptation to “bury how you feel and self-medicate” might be even greater when you are in prison than on the street.  Hundreds and thousands of men and women, the majority of them are healthy, with absolutely nothing to do.  And if they don’t have a good support network on the outside….all they have for peers are other convicted felons. 

They cannot shower, go to the toilet, play games, watch TV, work out, or even work….unless and until someone gives them permission.  They are not supposed to lie on their bunks and sleep during the day.  Yet they have nothing to do for the most part.  Some might have jobs, but not many.  That is ripe ground for abusing substances, especially if you went to prison already addicted.  Yes, his choice to be free from addictions is his choice and not due to a lack of opportunity.

Excerpts from article published…..

Wednesday, January 27, 2010 from The Washington Times

In many large state prison systems, a mix of inmate ingenuity, complicit visitors and corrupt staff has kept the level of inmate drug abuse constant over the past decade despite concerted efforts to reduce it.  A recent boom in cell-phone smuggling has complicated matters, with inmates sometimes using phones to arrange drug deliveries.

Florida has implemented anti-contraband strategies that its legislative watchdog office says match or exceed those in other states, including drug-detecting dog teams, metal detector searches of staff and visitors at all prisons, and even random pat-down searches of staff, rarely done in other states.

Yet, despite these efforts, 1,132 random drug tests of inmates in 2008-2009 were positive---the same positive rate of 1.6 percent as 10 years earlier.  Even more striking, officers seized 2,832 grams of marijuana and 92 grams of cocaine at the prisons during the year, by far the highest figures of the past decade.

“People are always trying to smuggle drugs in,” said Gretl Plessinger, spokeswoman for the Florida Department of Corrections.  “Our ultimate goal is to get rid of it, but I’d be a fool to tell you that will ever be realized.”

....Conclusion of excerpts from article published.

Judicious Jailbird has been an opportunity for Michael to get rehabilitated in a system that is not designed to provide those opportunities.  He has taken the time to write about his sins, shortcomings and addictions.  And, I must admit, a lot of foolishness as well!!  He spends hours every day writing and drawing.  Believe me, he could choose to waste those hours, or again….to make poor choices.  Instead, he writes and draws.

He has reconnected with old friends….

One of them is publishing this blog and sending Michael’s art out to be enjoyed by thousands of others via magazines and articles.  None of which provide monetary gain….but a sense of value and accomplishment…and perhaps giving Michael a sense of purpose right now when he feels no purpose.  Some hope in a hopeless environment.  And better yet…hope for his future when he gets out!

Other old friends write….

to reminisce about being children together.  A chance for Michael to remember those good days and draw strength from them.  To help my son know that he does have to do his time….but he is not forgotten.

Others who write....

share about their own loved one who is struggling with addictions.  That gives my son the chance to pray and reach out to another with compassion…..because he has been there himself

And he has made new friends…..

Norm, an amazing man.  A father to his own sons and a veteran of Viet Nam.  Norm recently lost his own mother and father, yet still took the time to write my son.  (Hey Norm…..your letter was the first one he got after he was sent to solitary confinement.  You can’t imagine how special it was to him.  But, I’m sure he will be writing to tell you himself.)  Michael and Norm never knew each other on the streets but Michael considers Norm his friend.  This man has taken the time to “put into” my son.  Norm has shown Michael that there are people who will not judge him just as a convicted felon, but will give him a chance. 

Those who comment on the blog….

You will never know the joy that your comments brings to the author of these stories…JJ himself.  He feels that he knows each one of you and is always eager to know what you have said.  He asks about you by name….or at least what you call yourselves!

All of this has happened because of Judicious Jailbird.  It started with Michael’s sister from Alaska posting some letters, ranting’s and heartfelt stories from her big brother behind bars.  Now it has become a project.  A project that hopes to reach out to many others to inspire change.  And, a project that is giving hope to Michael and letting him become rehabilitated while he does his time. 

So…thank you for continuing to read.  Thank you for being a part of this journey that Michael’s family is on with him as he does his time. 

And when someone tries to tell you it is easy for an addict to “stay clean” when he is behind bars…..LAUGH AND TELL THEM THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT!!!!

The MOM

More News!

That's right...there is EXTRA news tonight!!  [Extra news from Brooke.]  I love bringing J.J.'s stories and art to you!  So, I figured that we should do more with his art.  Let's not just check it out, let's wear it!

I introduced www.tattoodhooligan.com to you recently.  Now, you can reserve a Tattoo'd Hooligan t-shirt!  That's right, check them out.....

So, the Tattoo'd Hooligan is hard to read in this photo, but it's there!  

To the left is the men's shirt available in athletic grey, sizes small - XXL.  To the right is the women's shirt available in berry (pink), sizes small - XL.  Shirts are gender specific, but feel free to order whatever YOU like!  They are only $19.95.   

Sizes are limited, but YOU can reserve your preferred size today.  Just e-mail the shirt and size you would like reserved to me at brooke@tattoodhooligan.com.  You will be able to place your orders later this week!

J.J. is OUT!

Well.......out of the box that is!  The Judicious Jailbird was released yesterday from confinement.  Although he enjoyed his personal space, the treat of air conditioning and no job he is happy to be back.  Back on the compound.  Back among his homeboys.  Back outside to see the sun.

And.......the Judicious Jailbird project will continue on! 

Stick around.  We have some bad-ass stuff coming tonight!  

Aging with Tattoos

Hell, YES!  Cheers to being a bad-ass no matter what your age!

Another friendly reminder that you do not need to agree with everybody, 

but you do not need judge them either. 

The Judicious Jailbird Has A Purpose

From day one, the sole purpose of this project has been to inspire change.  To challenge people to think bigger than their own problems.  Sometimes when we see others who deal with problems far greater than our own, we are able to look back and change the mountain back to the mole hill it really is. 

I'm a firm believer I can't help myself if I point fingers at others.  That's why I write about myself.  I don't talk down about being in prison.  I have learned many lessons here.  I don't talk bad about the people and staff in charge over me.  No...I openly talk about me.  My ups and downs and failures.  And what I plan to do to change them.  That's the Judicious Jailbird project in a nutshell. 

The prison I am currently at openly claims to be faith and character based, claiming to help inmates to better their lives.  In hopes they won't return to a life of crime once released.  Here I am.  Since coming to prison, my character has changed.  I also have faith.  Today I have faith in myself, and in God.  Shame on me if I choose not to pass that freedom onto the next person in need.  I feel that one day I will answer to God concerning what I did with the gifts He gave me.  And so I write.  I write about my life.  In hopes it may reach out and touch you.

Christians of old were burned at the stake for what they believed in.  The message they tried to pass to others.  I have been blessed to be able to pass this message to you. 

Judicious Jailbird is currently under review by the prison system.  The biggest question here is will they say "no" to "no"....or will they see change? 

Many times when a platform is created it's then used for selfish reasons.  I hope that during this review eyes will be open to see the bigger message.  A message of hope.  Before prison I was a junkie.  I had no idea I could draw.  Before prison I never tried to inspire others.  I chased drugs.  They consumed my life.  Today my art helps me do my time.  Passing hours of this prison sentence.  Not to mention keeping the BIC pen company in business since I use nearly six pens a week.  Yes....you read that correctly. 

I hope you enjoy what you see when you sit down to read the Judicious Jailbird.  You will never see me bad talking those placed in authority over me.  I don't like the canteen prices and my mattress is a bit too worn....HOWEVER!  In the end these are the very things that remind me to never come back to this place. 

Perhaps I can give you just enough of a glimpse into this life that you decide to never come here.  That's the mission of the Judicious Jailbird.  And this is J.J. signing off.

Along Came A Spider

With my new job in food service came a new dorm, a new bunk, new neighbors, and a new view out a different window.  Then, along came a spider that has given me an even better view than that window provided. 

Living in this window, not fourteen inches from my head, is a Brown Recluse spider.  I assume a completely sane person would remove the spider and tear down the web.  Thing is...the spider was there before me and nobody has been rushed to the hospital from a spider bite.  This logic may seem odd to you.  However, we ride man-made roller-coasters that can fail at any time.  We attend happy hour where we drink one too many and then drive home, putting not only our lives, but the lives of others on the line.  And this all seems completely sane to us.  Really it's all a matter of perspective I suppose.

I doubt this spider knows his own power.  His life consists of catching flies and the occasional moth.   Somewhere in society is a person who would like nothing more than to step on me and tear down my web.  So the spider can live in my window.  We are two rebels that deserve to live. 

I don't expect you to agree with me.  Case in point....

I have a toxic spider living inches from my head.  A spider that sticks to his web.  Coming out only at night to repair his web and collect his meal.  Two years ago my sister began a blog as a way for people to follow my life both before and during my incarceration in D.O.C.  As a reader you have watched that journey take place.  Within my first year imprisoned, my direct appeal was denied.  Fifteen months ago I asked the courts to again review my case.  A few weeks ago I filed a motion asking the courts to show cause and rule on that motion.

I let my family know what I was doing.  My woman asked if I was nervous.  I realized that in fact, I am not.  I'm just ready to know the courts decision.  Some things are out of our hands.  I did ask my lady if she could handle six more years if they again deny me.  My lady laughs and says, "Oh, Michael....you're a silly boy!!"  God bless the ladies in my life who see past my many faults and choose to love me unconditionally. 

Unconditional love brings me back to the spider.  Somewhere he probably has a mother who doesn't care that he is poisonous.  She loves him for who he is.  I'm just saying....

Society as a whole has begun to change the way they view people.  The older generation of conservatives is slowly being replaced by a more liberal group.  So even though I can't flip burgers at McDonald's, I can marry another man if that's what I choose.  There was a time being labeled a convicted felon excluded you from many jobs.  Although that is changing also,  it is ironic that it never seemed to exclude us from cleaning your pool or carpet, picking up your trash, changing the oil in your car, mowing your grass, or building your home.  For that matter, the logic behind some people's thought process amazes me.  And you thought I'm crazy because a spider lives in my window.

Today the number of felons has sky-rocketed.  More than likely you know one, if not have one directly in your family.  Perhaps you are one.  Do you ever feel like that spider?  Wishing you could just maintain your web and catch a few flies without some sorry-ass prick coming by to tear down your web?

Keep reading this blog.  It's like finding Waldo with a twist!  What's that Tattoo'd Hooligan up to today?  I'm somewhere within the parameters of this chain-length fence.  Whether I'm marching in a formed line or spraying food off cafeteria trays...I'm in here.  Be happy that you are out there.   

Labels

This is so true.  It is so perfect for this blog.  

AND....it is a perfect intro for what is coming this week! 

 

Flat J.J.

So, you know that J.J. recently had visitors.  The MOM, sister Abby and Brooke (the typist) traveled to Florida and stopped to see J.J.  In between visits, J.J. enjoyed some time in Venice, Florida with us!  Check out some of what Flat J.J. enjoyed.......

Flat J.J. is all buckled up and ready for his adventures!

First Stop?  Nokomis Beach, of course!

Yeah, yeah....we know....J.J. would prefer to be on a Harley.  But a bike ride around Venice would be fun too!

J.J. LOVES Florida!  He LOVES the sun, the beach, the palms....

Can't help but smile.....the Intracoastal Waterway just makes you smile!

AHHHHH!  Watch out J.J.  (J.J. likes to go shark fishing.)

Of course he will smile in a tattoo chair!

HAHAHAHAHA!

Somebody thought J.J. was cute!

A day at the Jetties!

Enjoying an evening of drums, belly dancers and a sunset!

A sunset at the Jetties!

J.J. loves Harley Davidson!

J.J. on a Fatboy!

Well, this shirt is fitting.  :)

Having fun shopping!

Yep, look how happy he is!

Some Bad News. Some Good News. Some Bad-Ass News.

The bad news?  The Judicious Jailbird is sadly in confinement.  There is no information why (for those that may inquire).

The good news?  Confinement provides air conditioning and J.J. has a break from his food service job....hosing down 1,200 - 1,500 trays with steaming hot water, during the steaming heat of summer during the not-so glorious hours of 2a to 11a.  

The bad-ass news?  J.J. is also known as the Tattoo'd Hooligan (this is his artist name).  We invite you to like the Tattoo'd Hooligan on Facebook!  There will be Tattoo'd Hooligan merchandise for sale at www.tattoodhooligan.com featuring his art one day. One day when the Tatoo'd Hooligan is a free man.  Yep, some bad-ass news friends. 

**Please remember that J.J. spends his time writing posts and drawing art in efforts to do his time in a productive way.  J.J. is not able to benefit from these sales.  BUT, it DOES bring him a ton of happiness to know that people enjoy his art.  Additionally, it DOES bring him a ton of happiness to think that his art is all around.**