Hello November!
Could be just another month, but not for me. November is the month I was born. And, ironically, it is the month I'll be free...in just two more years. It's a chance to be reborn a free man. The second time I will make my way into the world.
Eight years ago I was doing a hundred in a fifty-five zone. I woke up, crushed two oxycodone on my dresser and snorted them with a twenty dollar bill. I then slid two more into my pocket and kissed the stripper, naked in my bed, goodbye. I walked out the door for court not realizing it would be the last time I saw freedom for 10 years.
I stood in court on a probation violation and when the judge sentenced me to 12 years in the Department of Corrections, I said "OH SHIT!"
I quickly reached into my pocket and retrieved the last two pills I had stashed. Having just enough time to swallow them before the officers cuffed me and led me out of the courtroom.
Looking back now, I see how fast I was going. Speeding down the highway-to-hell. When you come to prison you're angry. You reflect! Looking back and wishing I would have taken their offer. Had I not come to prison, I would probable be dead! So sitting here today I realize this place saved my life.
Shamefully, I probably wouldn't be the Dad to my little girl I have had the chance now to become. I was a self-centered drug addict.
Safe to say, I'm no longer angry. Nor am I a drug addict or a dead-beat Dad. I called my little girl the other day and was going through an emotional time. I really needed her and when she answered, I asked her, "Taylor...who's your daddy?" She comes off with some slick shit about how it's up in the air. Could it be the milkman or the mailman...
I stopped her there and said, "Tell me it's me Taylor!" So, she slowed down and said, "You're my father." She's such a boob. And she's totally my kid all day. I would have said the same answer she did and it made me laugh.
What she didn't know is my friend Kimmy overdosed shortly after I came to prison. Kimmy left behind a young daughter. A young daughter who, at 20 years old, overdosed last month...just like her momma did. And I had just received that news.
So I look back today, in this month of November: Eight years ago all I could think about was taking those last two pills before I went to a prison cell. Today, all I care about is that my little girl knows I am her dad and that I love her.
This is also the month of Thanksgiving. I'm thankful to be free. I am still behind this fence but you can't kill my spirit. My spirit is free and my little girl carries it with her.
Taylor, you are my inspiration. I quit smoking cigarettes so I could tell you never to smoke and I wouldn't be a hypocrite. Every forward step I take is so you can watch me and see what you can do.
You can do anything you set your mind to.
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!!!
