THANKSGIVING

Hello November!
Could be just another month, but not for me.  November is the month I was born.  And, ironically, it is the month I'll be free...in just two more years.  It's a chance to be reborn a free man.  The second time I will make my way into the world.

Eight years ago I was doing a hundred in a fifty-five zone.  I woke up, crushed two oxycodone on my dresser and snorted them with a twenty dollar bill.  I  then slid two more into my pocket and kissed the stripper, naked in my bed, goodbye.  I walked out the door for court not realizing it would be the last time I saw freedom for 10 years.

I stood in court on a probation violation and when the judge sentenced me to 12 years in the Department of Corrections, I said "OH SHIT!"

I quickly reached into my pocket and retrieved the last two pills I had stashed.  Having just enough time to swallow them before the officers cuffed me and led me out of the courtroom.

Looking back now, I see how fast I was going.  Speeding down the highway-to-hell.  When you come to prison you're angry.  You reflect!  Looking back and wishing I would have taken their offer.  Had I not come to prison, I would probable be dead!    So sitting here today I realize this place saved my life.

Shamefully, I probably wouldn't be the Dad to my little girl I have had the chance now to become.  I was a self-centered drug addict.

Safe to say,  I'm no longer angry.  Nor am I a drug addict or a dead-beat Dad.  I called my little girl the other day and was going through an emotional time.  I really needed her and when she answered, I asked her, "Taylor...who's your daddy?"  She comes off with some slick shit about how it's up in the air.  Could it be the milkman or the mailman...

I stopped her there and said, "Tell me it's me Taylor!"  So, she slowed down and said, "You're my father."  She's such a boob.  And she's totally my kid all day.  I would have said the same answer she did and it made me laugh.

What she didn't know is my friend Kimmy overdosed shortly after I came to prison.  Kimmy left behind a young daughter.  A young daughter who, at 20 years old, overdosed last month...just like her momma did.  And I had just received that news.

So I look back today, in this month of November:  Eight years ago all I could think about was taking those last two pills before I went to a prison cell.  Today, all I care about is that my little girl knows I am her dad and that I love her.

This is also the month of Thanksgiving.  I'm thankful to be free.  I am still behind this fence but you can't kill my spirit.  My spirit is free and my little girl carries it with her.

Taylor, you are my inspiration.  I quit smoking cigarettes so I could tell you never to smoke  and I  wouldn't be a hypocrite.  Every forward step I take is so you can watch me and see what you can do.
You can do anything you set your mind to.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all!!!!