Perhaps you've seen the TV drama Orange is the New Black? Some of my family watch it to get a better idea of what my world is like on this side of the fence. In your world you punch a guy over an argument and chances are it was captured on someone's cell phone camera. The police are called and you likely catch an assault charge.
Where I live, someone turns a straightened piece of fence into an ice-poker. They sharpen the end on a piece of concrete until it's a fine point. Then they wait until you're asleep, sit on you chest and drive that metal over and over into your gut until they are pulled off you by either the police or another inmate. They are then cuffed and taken to confinement. Chances are they will get 30 days in the box. Usually they transfer one of the dudes out. Other times they don't care and release both back to the compound.
My first prison was called Gulf CI. It has a reputation just as bad as Florida State Penitentiary. The day my bus arrived at the Gulf the guard informed us that when we stepped off there would be two lines. One line would take you back to the compound. The other would be for check-ins. "Check-ins" are inmates who are in fear for their life and are scared to be in general population. Both lines began to fill. I chose the compound.
Prison is full of these choices every day. You may be headed to chow and see three dudes creeping along the side of the line. Each one has a hand inside his pant leg. That concealed hand holds a lock in a sock, a razor melted into a toothbrush handle, or an icepick. You learn to watch the road in here.
Out there you wait for the light to turn green, check the intersection, then proceed. In here, we look for the dudes going against the main flow. It may be the man bent over tying his shoe. He stopped so he can fall back and let the man he's supposed to attack begin to pass him. Then he quickly stands up and jumps behind the man while slicing his throat. You learn to watch for the thing that doesn't make sense.
We have a saying here..."like a cat". Meaning to stay on point with cat like senses at all times. When you see your buddy with his head down you reach out and smack him in the nuts. The idea is to keep your friends on point so they don't get slit.
When your buddy runs to chow and leaves his radio on his bunk or his locker unlocked, you go take his radio and clean out his locker. When he comes back you let him think all his shit was stolen. After he trips for a minute you give him his shit back. Again...the idea is to condition him for the real thing.
You leave your car unlocked out there, or your home, chances are they'll be ok when you get back. In here? That's not the case. Everyone in here is criminal minded. They look for the angle. Like a con-man. They see targets.
You go to canteen and come back with a full bag. Everyone sees that. They now know your house is full of goodies. So then they watch you. It may take a couple days, but they wait for you to slip.
You grab your toilet paper and head to take a shit. When you get back to your locker, it's been cleaned out.
You go take a shower. Leave your radio on the bunk and in that 10 minutes you were gone, so is your radio.
Blessings don't wait around the corner for you in here. An evil man does. Waiting to harm you.
Welcome to my life!!!
I may have thought I was tough before prison...that notion makes me laugh now.
After 8 years in here these walls have changed me. I see every angle. Anything out of place could be a trap. It fucks with my head. This place has tried to take everything good away from me.
I get on the phone and put on another face for my family. You don't want them to see this.
But, in the end, the house sometimes wins. It causes me to be too hard to the people who love me. I have to back pedal almost daily.
Sometimes my life here carries out to my people. It's hard to live this life when you get your head out there on the free side of the fence.
Prison gets worse and worse. Watch the news. Where do you think all those bad people go? They come here...to be my Bunkie. They stand in the line beside me at chow. They work out by me on the rec field.
Please stop to consider this if you have a loved one incarcerated. This isn't a TV show. Nobody walks off the set here at 5 PM.
We get to stay right here with all the demons that lurk in the night.
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