Young Love

Yesterday I spoke with my daughter.  It was the first time we spoke since October.  It's because of a boy, and it took me way back in time.  I was once that boy and her mom was that girl.  I remember the way her Dad looked at me.  Like I stole his princess and he wanted to kill me.  Still, we couldn't be stopped.

My daughter is 20, nearly 21.  This is the first time she's dated.  I pointed out to her that I respect that.  I asked her to be careful and guard her heart.  I had to do that, just as I know she will go and do what she has to do.

She's moved out, has a job, her own car and I suppose a broken heart comes next.  I shouldn't say that.  That's just me being jaded.  I should hope for the best, and I do.  Still, even now, you can sit there and look back over the times your heart was broken.  Unfortunately it's part of our journey to become adult.

I'm free in 9 months.  I'll meet this boy.  I'll size his shit.  He'll see my daughter has a gangster for a Dad.  I'll do this because I have to.  Just like a Dad sized me up once.  I understand why he did now.  I even know it won't work.  You can't stand in front of a train and "will" it to stop, anymore than you can control young love.  Still, I must do this.  I want to be the best Dad I can and I don't feel I would be doing that if I don't harass this young man.

I'm sure there are some Dad's who enjoy watching the nest empty out.  Less mouth's to feed.  I've seen that man do his thing as well and I'm not that Dad.  I missed half my daughter's life and was locked up for the other half.  There are things I want to do with her.  Right now I'll do this for her.  Love her from the sidelines.  Ready to rush in when she needs me.

It's  been this young lady who has taught me the greatest lessons in life.  I can tell most people to fuck-off when I don't like their point of view.  Except when it comes to my daughter.  I still stop in my tracks for her.  Perhaps that's because of all the times I missed the mark.  Falling short.  I try extra hard these days and will for the rest of my life.

Much respect to the Dad's out there who are going through this same thing.  To the Dad who tried to stop me, I understand why you did what you did.  Now I  attempt to do the same thing.

For what it's worth, you did scare the shit out of me a few times.  I fully intend to do the same to this dude.

Cheers to all the Dad's out there doing their thing and trying to be a great Dads.

Personal Hygiene

This is because we all need to laugh sometimes....and I lack a filter in my thoughts.  Don't read if real shit bothers you. 


I encountered a small dilemma a bit ago.  Its become hard to masturbate due to the length of pubic hair.  I considered braiding it in pig tails to each side.  Something had to be done.  The pleasure is lost when your pulling on a hair attached to your ball sack.  It's quite painful.

After some thought I remembered seeing a comb in a buddies locker...I know, but he doesn't even have any hair.  At most he's doing the same thing with it.  So I ask to borrow the comb.  I then remove a blade and attach it to the bristles about half-way down.  Used carefully it will trim the hedges down to a comfortable length.  Taking my time and being extra careful, I completed the task of manscaping.

Then, the friend came by to chat.  He saw the comb in my locker and asked if I was done with it.  My plan had been to bleach it before returning, but I didn't find the bleach yet.  So I figure sure, you don't have any hair, what's the harm?  So I hand him the comb.  He takes the comb and begins to comb his beard!  Oh my!  Now I see why he has the comb.  It's all I can do to refrain from laughing out loud.  At this point what do I do?

After a few brushes through his beard, he then leaves the comb stuck on his cheek in a thick spot and continues to chat with me.  I'm watching the comb, affixed to his cheek, moving up and down while he talks.  All these thoughts in my head.  Almost 40 years old, and the shit I still manage to  get myself into.