Billboard This!

I had the chance to catch some of the Billboard Music Awards the other day.  On our community television in the day-room of C-dorm.  Sweet Taylor Swift was presented with an award.  I saw a couple artists perform and then Justin Bieber.  Arrogant little prick.  Pointing out all he's done and he's only 19.  If I recall Taylor Swift is about the same age and probably hands the entire Bieber-nation their ass in a show down.   

The main event was not doubt Prince.  The man is incredible.  Plays every instrument and seeps pimp from his pores.  The man has what's called "staying power".  He gets sweeter in time. 

Justin Bieber should take some notes.  Those 15-year olds that love him now will grow up and realize he's a schmuck.

Just look back over history.  Where are the Backstreet Boys now?  What about All 4 One?  Look at Mylie Cyrus...following in the footsteps of her daddy's music career.  We should have know she was having trouble when she was singing about the uphill climb at age 15.  Her daddy ended his career and began it with an achy-breaky heart.  Perhaps we should listen more to the lyrics in their songs.  Uhhh.....then again, maybe not!!!

I watched just enough to feel my butt begin to fall asleep on the wooden bench.  Really I left for even more reason than that.  I enjoy the music of many bands, however, when you see the way they act in public it changes your point of view of them.  There are many people I feel the same about.  I tend to stay away from those people.  However, why ruin my listening experience by seeing these artists make an ass of themselves.

And speaking of ass...did you see Nicki Minaj perform with Lil' Wayne?  Such a fine performance.

At times there are artists you're not familiar with and when you see them perform you become a fan.  I heard The Band Perry do their hit "Better Dig Two"....they'll need to dig three while they're at it , if I mention Nicki Minaj's real estate again.

Music continues to move me.  Even now as I write, my Mp3 is on and pumping tunes into my earpiece.  The music is expensive, but nothing brings more peace to me during the daily grind of prison life.  I put my ear buds in and zone out to my own personal concert.  Thank God for music.

There's a country song that talks about a mans old lady telling him to choose between her and the fishing hole.  The chorus of the song goes...."well, I'm gonna miss her..."  I'll assume he refers to the old lady.  A good fishing hole is hard to find.  And, in the end he's still wetting his worm.

There's a song for every occasion no doubt.  Kid Rock sings that before he cuts his grass he goes behind the garage and fires one up.  There's no better way to mow the lawn than in an altered state of mind.  Makes fishing fun too.  Fishing.  Yep...can't wait to get out there and wet a worm.

Prince, you're the man.  Bieber!  Get off the stage.

Much love to Lou Brutus and hardDrive.  Bring the rock main-man.
   

Memorial Day

A very special thank you to Mr. Norman Nephew, who not only served his country but blesses me with his friendship.  A special thank you to my friend Paul Ritchings, and to my awesome brother-in-law Andrew Stirett who I have not had the chance to meet in person but I am eager for that day. To see all these men again will be wonderful!  And a special thank you to all the men and women who have and are serving our country!

Who Teaches Who?

Today's mail brought a very special card...

Inside, the card says.....to a kindhearted you.  Taking the time to represent us guys in blue.  The card is covered in thank you notes from J.J. and the men who wrote special shout-outs to their mothers for Mother's Day.  One man after another, thanking me for the time I give to this project.  For sharing the space with them to have a voice.  And for helping them bless their families with special shout-outs and love.

What the guys and their families need to know is that THEY teach me.  J.J., his friends, and their families bless my life with strength, patience, forgiveness, the power of positivity, and unconditional love.

I am blessed to have J.J. in my life.  I am blessed by this project.  For many reasons.  Most often, I am blessed that J.J. has something positive and productive in his life.  That he can sit on his rack and write or draw (doing his time in a healthy way), and that something productive will happen with his thoughts and amazing art.  It is a great blessing to share the space with other men in blue and their families.  To be a part of helping families stay connected and feel the love no matter the distance or fence that separates them.  Today those very men blessed me.  Not because I needed a pat on the back.  But as I read their notes, I smiled (after a hard week) and thought "these guys are teaching me!  They are the ones reminding me to see the positive part of life."

I know how J.J. does his time, and I admire him for it.  To know how ugly the environment is on that side of the fence, yet he chooses to wear a smile on his face.  Today, I spoke to his dad after their visit.  And he told me that his son is a light in darkness.

He certainly is. 

Even today as he sits on the other side of the fence, he chooses to be happy.  He chooses to have a positive outlook on life.  He chooses to put good people around him.  Like his good friend, the Rabbi, said the other day we "continue to fall into this prison of one self."  So many of us (regardless of what side of the fence we are on) are in prison because we do not choose joy.

Do you forgive when it is hard to forgive?  Do you choose to find the positive outlook regardless of what you are facing?

It's easy to get swallowed up in day-to-day chores and deadlines.  To worry about others opinions and judgements.  Then there are people like J.J. and his friends who have plenty of things they could complain about.  But they do not.  They stand tall.  They choose joy.  They choose to find the positive.  And even though they are the ones on the other side of the fence, they take the time to check in on their loved ones.  Every day.  Ready to live life with us.  Ready to help conqueror our problems.  Ready to remind us to breathe, and forgive, and see the positive.  Ready to be the light. (That is what J.J. does for me, his mother, and his siblings.  And I know what these guys do for their families too!)

All from prison.    

May God give us His eyes and heart that we may comfort those who need it!  
"God does not comfort us to make us comfortable, but to make us comforters."  ~ John Henry Jowett

THANK YOU J.J. and to each and every one of you who has touched my life!

 

   

The Rabbi Speaks

Always remember, from where you came, where you are at, and to whom you are destined to give an accounting to....

In my life these three things are of great importance and value.  Being confined is only a physical thing, and yet to some, it can also be a mental confinement.  Time and again I have seen men that have allowed this to occur in their lives, however, this is easy to over come by simply being at peace with ones inner self.  Yet, men continue to fall into this prison of one self.....trapped and at the mercy of their own subconscious. 

(You know what I talk about.)  The self doubt.  The second guessing.  The unsatisfied with your own answers to things, yet to hard-headed to take a friends advice.  I say awaken!!!

Be at ease with what you choose.  Only then will you start to unlock your mind from the prison that is your body.

In all my years of knowledge, I have yet to claim "chain gang wisdom" for every person that steps through that "door" week in and week out.  I see potential...both for good and bad...it's a scary thing for me to see what society has to offer "out there" every week as opposed to what's already "in here".  "Is this our future?" I ask myself as yet another pant sagging, teeth sucking kid walks through the door. 

Whatever took us on the wandering road here to this point has a purpose, or at least that's what I choose to believe.  And so I ask myself, "Why?"  Why are thing the way they are?

Well, for one thing, things are the way they are because that's the way I have chosen to see them.  Yet in the mist of all this frightful mess, I can (at times) see a flicker of hope.  A possibility, and that, that is what keeps me hopeful and moving forward. 

I pray (not as often as I should) that when you read this it helps you grab onto the "idea" that anyone can change things for better or for worse with a simple thought.

Imagine that concept in this day in age! 

Speak No Evil

My dad use to say if you have nothing nice to say do not say anything else at all.  

We might not always agree with others views on life, but we do not need to speak out against them.  

Here is my rendition to remind us to not speak ill of others, 

but rather live your life with grace and unconditional love. 

Happy Mother's Day

Remember when we were all young and the school had you fill out the list?  The things I love best about my mom?  Or what makes my mom the best?  Then we took that home and presented it to our mothers.  Mom then proudly hung it on the refrigerator door. 

Life comes along and picks up those sweet little kids and we find ourselves men who grew up all too quickly.  Today I am a prisoner.  Many things have changed in my life, but one thing remains the same...

I love my mom.

There's something very special about the woman who made your life possible.  Brought you into this world.  She changed your diapers, woke up in the night to feed you, and we dedicate one day a year to them.  I hope you do her better than that.

I am surrounded by men who for various reasons were taken out of society and placed behind a fence.  Here are some men who are proud to have an awesome mom in their corner.  Happy Mother's Day to all of you mothers out there!

Today if you are missing your mother, please take a moment to reflect on the woman who made your life possible.  Hopefully you are living a life to make her proud and I believe she sees that.  Something to think about.

To recognize the beauty our mothers bring to our lives, we have place a flower for each of you below. 

I couldn't ask for a better mom, and I'm glad I got stuck with you.  I love you so much.  Thank you for everything you do for me.  Happy Mother's Day!  Love your son, Chris

A little boy and his mother were crossing a river,
Mother: "Please hold my hand."
Son: "No mom, you hold my hand."
Mother: "What's the difference?"
Boy: "If I hold your hand and something happens to me chances are I'll let go of your hand, but if you hold my hand I know for sure you will never let my hand go."

Mom, thank you for holding my hand every step of the way.  Without you, I don't think I could have made it.  Happy Mother's Day!  Love, Justin

Happy Mother's Day to a very special mom.  Thank you for your love and all you do for us.
Love Always, Your Son Michael

Mom and Nanny,  I want to let you know how much you are loved and thought about every day.  Thanks for everything you do for me.  I am blessed to have ya'll by my side.  You are the greatest mom and grandma anyone could have.  Lots of Love, Andy

Mamma dukes!  I love and miss you!  Wanted to wish you the best Mother's Day ever.  Keep your head up.  Your boy will be there soon.  Love, J

Sending my love to Zach and Alex.  Kiss my baby boy Bradley for me!  Tell Lindsey I love her and Happy Mother's Day to her too!  Love you all! See you soon.

The most beautiful person in the world.  I want to thank you for all you do for everyone around you.  Especially for the love and support you give Billy and I.  Hope this message makes your day and remember this day is all about you.  With all my love, Your Son Gerry

Mother's Day is the day we need to not only appreciate the person, but also the feeling, the emotion and the love we get from all the women in our lives, especially our own mothers and the mothers of our children.  I personally have been blessed not only with a mother that has provided the love and support in every aspect of life, even in the hardest times like now, but another woman that has been through everything with me, still loves me despite my flaws, and has given me a beautiful child.  To you, mom and Ashley, I love you both with all my heart.  Thank you for being the strong, loving women you are.  Thank you for being awesome mothers!  Happy Mother's Day!  Love, Scott

Lynne, Happy Mother's Day!  I love you mom, for reasons that are unlimited, endless...however, here's a few to say "I love you":
1.  For always being there by my side through thick and thin.
2.  For showing me your unconditional love no matter what I've done wrong.
3.  Most of all, for just being you and being such a great mother.

I know that I've been a derelict vessel a drift in an ocean of chaos while you've been my mooring, always holding strong.  So I want to say thank you, for everything and for being my mother.  I couldn't do this without you.  I love you and I miss you.  I wish you the very best Mother's Day!
With Love, Ran

Hey Mom,  Happy Mother's Day!  I want to thank you for always being there for me.  I know I haven't always done the best things, but thank you for never given up on me.  I'm sorry I'm not there this Mother's Day, but I will be for the next one.  I just want you to know I'm thinking of you and thank you for being a great mother.  Love you son, Brett

Miss B, first and foremost I just wanna say "thank you" because I don't know how things would be if I didn't have you in my life for 37 years.  It seems as if the whole world has turned the other cheek.  I wonder if I didn't have you there how would I be able to communicate back-n-forth with my kids?  When the world gave up on me, and at times I even wanted to give up on myself, you were there with unconditional love that carries me safe.  I want to thank you for being the best mother to me, and also the best grandmother to my kids because there is no-one quite like you.  No matter how many years pass by you'll always be the best mom this life has to offer me.  I'll always be J.T. and I'll never forget how all through my life you sacrificed to make sure your four boys had.  Thank you for loving us, and working all those long hours to pay the bills.  I know that things are going to change with time, when God feels it is time for me to go home.  My aim in life will always be to try to do as much for you as you did for me, my brothers, my kids and my nephew.  I love you mom.  Happy Mother's Day!  Love, Steven

Mom, thank you for your support through all my trials and tribulations, most of all this current setback.  You've always been there to help me keep my head held high, my chin up, and to know that there are always going to be brighter tomorrows on the horizon once I get home. Have a very happy Mother's day!  Love, Jay

Terry, Happy Mother's Day!  I am proud to have you as a step mom.  You have always been there for me no matter what.  Sometimes I chose not to believe it, and yet you were still there pulling me out of the hole I dug myself in to.  Thank you for being there watching over me in time of need.  I love you and miss you, and can't wait to be home again.  Happy Mother's Day.  Your son, James

First and foremost I want to thank the people who make it possible for us to be able to do this.  Secondly, I want to send a shout-out to my mother Tracey Callis.  Over the years that I've been on this earth you've done nothing but show me love and compassion and taught me how to be a man.  Without you by my side these past three years pushing me, guiding me, and supporting me I don't think I would have changed for the better.  Now I have my GED and a trade, and I owe all of it to you for the love and support you have given me.  I know it's been a rough three years, but I want you to know that I am truly grateful for everything you have done for me.  Just know that I come home soon, and I plan on showing you that I'm a better person/son than I was before.  Thank you.  Also, I would love to tell the mothers of my children, Kayla and Renee, thank you for being such wonderful mothers to our kids.  I can't wait to come home and take up my responsibilities as their father.  Last, but not least, I want to tell Jeannie, Samuel and Landon that daddy love ya'll and I'll be home soon.  I love you all!!  Love, Ryan

  Mother's Day is a very sensitive day for me.  I lost my mom 32 years ago and my wounds are sill as fresh as ever.  I see guys all the time that don't appreciate their moms.  Taking for granted what others yearn for, that mother/son bond.  On this day, I also share another bond with someone I love dearly.  My sister Sandy.  She raised me when our mom died and was always caring and giving.  She helped me through rough times and has stood beside my through this sentence.  She is what I call my SisterMom.  She is the best mom to her two boys and a caring daughter to our father.  Today, I want to wish her a Happy Mother's Day.  I love you, sis!  Your brother, Benny

First, I would love to tell you Happy Mother's Day!  Mom, thank you for (NEVER) giving up on me, through all the trouble and all the pain.  Even when I gave up on myself, you were there for me.  I wish I was home to spend this day with you.  Because of mother's like you, you have this day.  I have my eyes open, my mouth shut and my chin up.  Thank you for everything you've done for me.  I love you so much mom.  Love always, your son Anthony Eric 

Mom, I want to say you're the best mom there is.  I am blessed by Jehovah God to be your son.  I want you to have a special day on Mother's Day and the other 364 days also.  You're always in my heart and prayers and thoughts.  I love you mom!  Your Son, David

Hey ma!! Happy Mother's Day! Thought I would do something different this time and not a month early...HA!  I love you, Atom

Mom, so many times you have been my rock, my ear in all things personal, my most trusted adviser and, of course, my biggest supporter, not to mention my biggest fan.  Yet to so many others in our family, you have been that and much more: grandma aunt, best friend, sister, but....to me you will always be my mommy.   Happy Mother's Day, from me and your grand kids.  Love always, Michael

To the best grandma in the world:  Happy Mother's Day!  See ya soon.  Your grandson, James

Even though things are tough right now, they will get better.  That's a promise.  Happy Mother's Day!  I love you and miss you with all my heart.  Love, Billy

Nearly every kid filled out the top ten things you love best about your mom.  I love my mom because she makes the best macaroni and cheese in the world!  Then you grow up and your top ten list changes.  I love my mom because she loans me money when I'm broke.  Well, I love my mom for many reasons, but my top answer would be because she never gave up on me.  Mom has stuck beside me for 34 years of hooliganism.  I say that now with a smile, but have caused my mother many tears over those years.  Mom, I get a little better every day.  Life continues to teach me lessons.  Thank you for never giving up.  Happy Mother's Day!
                                                                                    Your son, Michael


This year you are enjoying your mother's day in Australia.  Both of us, Brooke and Michael, wish you a beautiful and happy Mother's Day filled with endless love.  Thank you for your unconditional love.  We hope you are having a great time down under!!  We love you!  Always,  Brooke & Michael

J.J. Takes a Bow

My dad came to visit me last weekend. Two weeks before that, Brooke came to see me. During both visits there were guys I do time with enjoying visits with their families as well. Both Brooke and my dad were able to meet a couple of the guys that have graced the Jailbird Project.

Since starting the “shout-outs,” dozens of men have enjoyed taking part in giving their loved ones a message by means of the Jailbird blog. Jailbird originally started with both my art and short stories about my daily encounters. Over time, we opened the door for other inmates to speak their mind if interested. It seems that the idea of a prison blog is somewhat new. Every prison I go to immediately locks me up under investigation while they look over the webpage.

I have been told on different occasions that I cannot write the blog. ...That it's in violation of the department of correction's rules. In fact, it's not at all.

Coming to prison means you are taken out of your life on the streets. Your freedom of speech may not be taken. At time,s that offends people. It will happen whether you are in prison or in the free world. When you say cops are fat and sit on their asses eating doughnuts, it's gonna piss off the police out there as well as the police paid to babysit us in here.

My point is that, even though we all have free speech, it pays to pick your battles. The things I say on this blog are often times taken out of context. The media has always been good for that. The old cut and edit method. You go from hero to zero in seconds.

Well, as I spent time with my loved ones in the visiting park, I was blessed to meet family members of the men I do my time alongside. Seems the Jailbird isn't just offending people; some are truly enjoying the blog. I had a handful of people come up and tell me how the Jailbird has changed their life. How reading the blog had pulled them back from the edge. They said they didn't know what they would do without it. Ok...I'm bullshitting now.

I was told how cool it is and that families are touched to see their loved-ones on it. A couple ladies said it was well-written, but could I please curb my language a little bit? And you know what? I'm gonna work on that just for you. Along the way, I ask you to continue to work with me.

Allow me to personally thank each of you for following the blog. A few of you were friends of mine before prison. Thank you for taking this ride with me. Many others I don't know personally. You may have accidentally come across the Jailbird page. ...Sorry about your luck! Others have heard by word of mouth. Lately, many of you have sons, brothers, or husbands who are doing time with me.

Whatever has brought you here, please allow me to say thank you. Thank you for standing beside your loved one doing time. In some crazy way, I feel each of you stands beside me while I complete my sentence. And when someone asks you if you know anyone doing time, I hope you reply that in fact, you do.

The Jailbird blog has become an outlet for me. Writing about my life and how I feel lets me take this life a tad bit easier. On top of it all, lately we have had these shout-out sections, where my brothers join me in greeting and bragging on their family and friends.

As a reader, please feel free to take the time and leave a comment after anything you read on the blog. All comments are copied and sent back to the prison, where these men look forward to reading your words. Perhaps all you want to do is tell me I have a potty-mouth. Well, I hear ya!

Thank you, dear readers, for making the Jailbird one of the fastest-growing blogs in the United States. Quite frankly, this blog could save your life. We are currently researching whether or not it may cure cancer. It WILL reduce stress. And isn't laughter the best medicine?

Much love,
The Hooligan

The Horse

Today I was sitting here reading the January issue of The Horse Magazine.

The reason I'm reading a back issue is because the Florida literary review committee has deemed them a threat to the well being and security of inmates.  Therefore, have rejected my last three issues.

The thing that amazes me is that we are in a men's prison.  Not the boy scouts.  Every man here is over 18.  We can fight for our country, give our life on a front line, buy beer and cigarettes, but all the music you purchase on your MP3 player will be completely edited.  Recently it's been the publications.  My Men's Health was rejected because it taught you how to tie a knot.

You learn how to tie your shoes at like 5.  It's a milestone in a boys life.  If you don't know how to tie a knot and you are currently old enough to do time in a men's prison, then you're two fries short of a happy meal.  If this is the case, than clearly you need to learn to tie one.  Did the prison stop to consider this would be a good thing?  

If you're over 18 and can't tie a knot you need to learn.  And you'll no doubt be so proud of yourself, the last thing on your mind would be a noose to hang yourself with.  That's the only threat I can think of.  Other than that, not much else would constitute a knot as a threat.

So what's the problem with The Horse Magazine?  Before prison, I was a terrible drug addict.  I was fortunate to be a drug addict with a motorcycle.  I dated a woman in my late teen years who owned a Harley Davidson Sportster 1200.  After riding it for nearly a year, I purchased my own.  I went for a 1997 Road King with the quick detach saddlebags and windshield.  This way I could quickly transform a touring bike into a sleek old girl with curves to kill.

Riding that bike was the only time I was free from the prison addiction placed on my life.  So today, in my current prison, I enjoy revisiting that freedom.  And I do that when I sit down and read The Horse.  Notice I didn't mention that other biker magazine?  Although it's wonderful to see half dressed women draped on motorcycles, I like to see bikes that even I could afford.  If you'll turn with me to page 32 of The Horse issue #126, you will see an article written by a dude called Mudd.  An underground chopper story called Nikki.

If you consider your relationship with your bike a love affair, you need to read this man's article.  Brilliant.  I do a little writing myself, and was moved to tears to see a man as passionate about his bike as I am.  This magazine is tasteful and even a conservative woman like my own is not put off my the women featured.  It's obvious to see that The Horse is a magazine about the bikes, the men who build them, and then actually ride what they build.  When the prison rejects my magazines I take option number two and send them home.

Home is where my wonderful lady patiently awaits my return.  While she waits, she can read my rejected issues of The Horse.