The Wimpy Kid

Well, I had some new art added to my resume the other day.  Here I was thinking it was quite gangster.  Then my lady informed me that it is in fact "adorable".  A word that I asked her to please not use when referencing me.  She laughed and said I was cute.  Bleh!

In fact what has happened to me is that I now live in the Diary of A Wimpy Kid.  For real.  I have a white Steve Urkel for my bunkie now.

All summer long the kid wore a sweatshirt and was cold.  Now he's sick.  Coughing and sneezing and wants the window closed all day.  Instead of go outside and get fresh air, he piles up under his covers with a glass of warm tea and reads romance novels.  Yeah.  With titles like "A Long Summer Night" and "Tender Devil".

My grandmother used to read these books.  They are soft porn for Christ's sake!  So yeah....

Someone had to be gangster around here.





An officer came and tossed our room the other day.  My bunkie was gone at school and that left me in the room.  The officer turns to me holding a copy of "Tender Devil" and asks if it's mine.  There's a damsel in distress, with her dress falling off with some Fabio want-to-be leaning her back ready to rock her world in a bed of roses on the cover.

Tender Devil....fuckin' A.  And now this officer stands here asking me if it's mine.  Can't he tell it's not?  Can't he see how gangster I am?  Whatever.

I'm sure I offended some of my people.  My dad's reply was that I turned my whole body into a canvas.  Well, shit...that beats being called "adorable".  When it comes to regrets, my tattoos are nowhere on that list.  My ink has meaning.  Each piece reminds me of some place in my life.  Still, I get some people won't agree.  

So, here I am living with Diary of a Wimpy Kid while he lives in the Diary of a Mad Man.  Really, I'm not mad. I'm just sitting here with a smirk on my face.  Thinking about what a bad-ass grandpa I'm going to be one day.

Isn't life amazing?  I mean, someone out there wants to bitch about what I do, yet there's others who can tell me that I'm adorable.  Then again....I guess if you took the time to get to know me you would see I'm a pretty cool dude.  I walked down some roads most people couldn't survive.  The shit that didn't break me, made me.

So here I am.  Being harassed for romance novels and making sure nobody steals Urkels lunch.  No wonder my lady says I'm "adorable".  If all my haters could see me now.....

My gangster life has turned into some sort of a joke.  And....the joke may be on me.  My bunkie just walked into the room.  He's wearing long john tops and bottoms, with a pair of gym shorts pulled up over the bottoms.  I have changed my mind.....Steve Urkel don't have shit on this dude.

Inmates Give Thanks Too

As a boy, my mother used to tell me to pick my friends carefully.  Back then mom would have never approved of my friends.  I look around me at my buddies and see the real Motley Crew.  These are my brothers.  While you are surrounded by your family and loves ones, I'll do the same.  Place my friends around me and try to make each other smile.  Deep down, each of us knows there is an empty chair in homes all across the world.  That chair is missing someones daddy.  A special lady sits down missing her man.  A mother is one child short.

Here we are.  And we are thinking of you too.  If you can look around your table and see every chair filled, then count yourself blessed.  I want to tell my friends and loved ones that I'll be home before you know it.  Ain't nothing but a hop and a skip and I'll be right back.

I think I speak for all my brothers back here when I say we can't wait to be filling that chair again at your table.  Happy Thanksgiving from all of us hooligans!

 Lynne & Larry, to a mother and father who I owe everything and so much more.  I'm sorry you must do this Thanksgiving without truly yours.  You will be deep in my heart and on my mind.  I will be home one day to share holidays and love that's hard to find.  

I love you both!  Happy Thanksgiving!
~ Ran~

 A shout-out to all my friends and family: Happy Thanksgiving!

This holiday is a time to be thankful for all the good things in your life and I'm blessed to have each one of you: Mom (of course you're first!), Jenna, and Alex; Aunt Bonnie, Uncle Hussein, Shawn, Brian, and Shirin; Aunt Randy, Uncle Billy, Danny, Mollie, Maggie, and Nina; Brittany, Ashley, and the rest of the Rucker clan; Alley and Angie; Jo; Matt; and everyone else, you know who you are.  Thank you for all that you do for me, supporting me, and just basically being a part of my life.  Both in the highs and especially the lows.  Hopefully this will be the last holiday season I will be separated from you all and next year we will celebrate together.  

My love to you all, Chris

Happy Thanksgiving!  Thank you all for everything you do to help me get through this.  

Love, James

I want to say Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends, family, and to the girl that's been standing by my side for the last seven years through thick and thin.  Bill, Garrett and Kenzie Cooey, Ryan Conley, and the rest of ya'll.  I really appreciate everything ya'll have done.  Thank you for going out of your way to do what you do for me, and wanting to come visit me.  You really do "find out who your friends are" when you are at a place that I'm at.  Mom, dad, granny, papa: thank you for all of your prayers, for putting up with everything I've put you through, and your love.  I've really learned how lucky of a person I am to have a family like you guys.  And to Alisha Lecourise, I really do want to say thank you for standing by my side for all these years, and holdin' on to what we have.  I'm really lucky to have a person like you in my life and to have you by my side.  Thank you for EVERYTHING you've ever done for me, and for your amazing love you share with me.  I know I've taken you for granted a time or two in our past, but you've somehow found something deep inside your heart to forgive me, and that's one reason why I love you so much.  Thank you for putting up with all my crap and giving me a chance to shine.  I've got a bad name, but a man can change. I'm living proof of that.  I hope to be home sooner than later to fill in that empty seat.  You guys mean the world to me.  And a special thanks to J.J. for being the guy he is, and caring for others who are also locked up.  And thanks to Brooke for taking the time to set all of this up for us guys who do have someone out there.  Until then, take care and God Bless.

Love, Forrest Robert 

From the depths of my heart to my two best friends, mom and dad: Happy Thanksgiving!  

Always with love, your SUN

 

For all of you out there that have someone in here that you support with love and/or friends: thank you!!!  You will probably never be able to comprehend just how much of a difference you make in your person's life - at least, I hope you are never in a position to.  Personally, I cannot begin to fathom going through this without the support of my family.  True friends, the unconditional love of family, and the real deal love of a special person will rarely be appreciated, or even recognized without experiencing and going through, the lowest of low times together and coming through them together.  Happy holidays to all of you!  

To the people who give my life its value: I am truly thankful, on a daily basis, for you all.  I am one of those who can

honestly say, "there is nothing equal to the love of my mother and father, save for the love of God."  A special prayer for my grandma Helen, who is 93 and very sick: I pray that you get to read this.  To my son, Cody, you are always in my thoughts.  To my jasmine-eyed snazzle: I M.U.T. and will 1221 always.  And one last big holiday holler to Brooke: thank you so much for making this possible; for giving us a way to make our people feel a little more special, a little closer, and a little more loved; and for being one of those super special, real deal ladies that are so rare. 

Happy Holidays!!  G.

                                                                                              

I am thankful for my family.  I am also thankful for Brooke who makes this whole thing possible.  And I want to personally thank all of these guys who not only got involved with this shout-out, but helped me celebrate my birthday as well.  Never take those you love for granted.  Tell them what they mean to you.  When you do this, it will allow you to grow as a person.  We all need to grow as people, both in the free world as well as in here.  Not to mention, we should do this all year.  Not only one day a year.  Be blessed, The Hooligan. 

Insight on Prison Politics from Mr. Mack

(Hi Mack!  And thanks to Mack's lady for sending photos!)

"First, I would like to say that I truly appreciate the kind and heartfelt comments.  I especially thank you for the condolences.  Believe it or not, even from strangers, that means a lot.  Prison has taught me that blood isn’t always thicker than water, and I am very humbled by the sympathy expressed.  Thank you.

Now, with that said, why would I think just because I’m locked up, politics don’t happen?  Well, not only does the administration cause unnecessary problems, but inmates, in turn, cause drama that can or does result in a beating, stabbing, or worse.  Prison is supposed to be a place where you try and “better yourself,” but I find it is a breeding ground for hate, maliciousness, backbiting, snitching, revenge, and other seemingly nefarious behavior.

The other day I went to work at the education building and, upon arrival, I found out one of the facilitators was fired.  Everyone, including and especially me were saying, “What?”  I say “especially me” because he is the second black dude to be fired in a week.  There are only two of us left, and the other one is ‘high yella,’ as they say, with an afro, so he is probably safe.  LOL!  Wait a minute, I’m going too fast.  Let me digress.

First of all, I am a facilitator for a course called “Credit and Debt Management.”  How did I get into this position?  How I got it isn’t as important as the fact that I’m even teaching a class!  I grew up with a very embarrassing stutter.  It was so bad that my mom would bring me to church and have them lay hands on me to cast out the spirit.  One person would stand behind me, one on each side of me, and the minister in front with his hand on my head.  He or she would put blessed extra virgin olive oil on my forehead while violently shaking me and saying, “In the name of Jesus!  Stuttering demon, we cast you out!”  I would fall to the ground just so they would stop shaking me. 

(Ester as voucher: Yes, this IS what it's like...)

Of course, Mom would also take me to the school’s speech therapist.  For some reason, I could hardly speak normally, but as soon as I stepped into the speech therapist’s office, my impediment would disappear.  In the car I would sound like: “M-m-m-mamma, (pause)… I-I-I hope things go w-w-w-well today.”  Then just 10 minutes later, I’d step into the therapist’s office and she would get me to start talking.  Magically, I would start speaking like an English teacher-in-training.  “Yes, I am in your of-fice speaking per-fect-ly be-cause I have perfect dic-tion.  And since I am such a great speak-er, there is no rea-son for me to be here.”  J  HA HA.  

…Eventually I learned to take my time, but I still couldn’t believe I could hold a speaking job.  Well, Disney World didn’t seem to think so.  When I applied in 1995, the casting office threw me right in to the Guest Services desk at the Wilderness Lodge Resort.  

("I want to go to there!" - it's rated as the best hotel in Orlando for kids!)

Alrighty!  Not only was I highly visible and not from Orlando, I had to talk the entire shift.  Think that’s something?  Hmmph!  In 2002, I ended up being the emcee at a dance club called America’s Pub in Kansas City.  Like the therapist’s office, as soon as I got on the mic, especially with the music off, it all went away. 

Now I’m standing in front of a bunch of dudes with bald heads, muscles, teardrop tattoos on their faces, and I’m teaching them how to order their credit reports, remove negative items, debt-to-credit ratios, and all types of other credit-related topics.  Yikes!  What’s funny is now I have these 6’5” 235-lb skinheads and thugs calling me “teach” and "teacher" when I walk around on the compound.  Double yikes! 

I like it though, because helping dudes in here is a great thing, and I love to see those hardened, bored, irritated, or I-don’t-give-a-shit-looking faces turn into faces like adolescents when they’re really learning something. 

(Photo by Brian Harkin for The New York Times) 

Man, that is pure adrenaline.  Cocaine ain’t got shit on teaching….  OK, let’s not go too far.  Ha.

So as I was saying earlier, dude got fired.  What happened was the head lady’s favorite inmate told her something the dude supposedly said in relation to the call-outs.  Instead of her asking the other party if this was true, she just arbitrarily fired him, which he didn’t find out until the next morning as he tried to go through center gate.  You best believe shit hit the fan once everything was sorted out.  Everyone was upset!  Why?

First of all, the dude is liked by most and he is a man of integrity.  Secondly, he was the only other small business concepts teacher.  Yeah, dude was livid!  Unfortunately for the alledged liar, the dude he crossed is an ex-Marine, has a 35-year sentence (25 years mandatory) and is humble… OH, and he's HUGE.  According to him, he lost a job he valued and his integrity was questioned.  Anyone who knows a Marine can tell you that his integrity means a lot, and once a Marine, always a Marine.

  

He told me on the rec. yard that he will give the head lady a chance to be professional, and if not (I quote): “I will destroy that sneaky little coward and show everybody that he’s a bitch.  If I don’t have a job, he definitely won’t have one.” 

Well, there it is.  Hopefully the ex-Marine doesn’t have to go there because the prison is a place where you try to 'better yourself,' right?"