Thursday, August 25, 2016

Tunnel Vision


Watching my daughter turn 19, wishing I could turn 40 already and seeing the light at the end of this tunnel finally.  The finish line begins to come into focus and I'm realizing it's time for me to begin to shift gears

I've lived here with the attitude of "when in Rome, do as the Romans"...  It's saved my life and carried me through a dime in D.O.C. - Prison lingo- for ten years is a "dime" since it's worth 10 cents...

A soldier goes off to battle for 5 or 6 years and comes home diagnosed with PTSD and a multitude of other ticks and misfires..I've seen dudes cut, stabbed, beat near to death and hung.  You learn to simply walk past these scenarios if they don't involve you, so that they don't BEGIN to involve you.  I've seen racial hatred grow 10 fold over the past few years.  Then you have the gang wars and retaliation.  You learn to pick your battles since you may die in the process.  So was it REALLY worth it?  You ask yourself that everyday.

I find myself reading a chapter in my Bible every morning just to make certain my guardian angel has had her coffee and is read to tackle another day beside me.  I'm also pretty certain I'm going to obtain my medical-marijuana card once I'm home, so I can enjoy prescribed mental satisfaction.

I have enjoyed writing for this blog as it's a means to vent and stay connected.  Many of my friends and even family seldom write me, so this has become my message board to keep you informed that I'm still alive and half-sane.

I've learned a lot about myself in here.  I found how far I can bend without breaking.  People grow when they get pushed down.  A divorce, the loss of a loved one, a miscarriage.  Whatever the ordeal, it's these situations that create well rounded people who can stand tall when any kind of push comes to shove.  If you haven't been through much, good for you.  But you should probably seek out someone who has had their shit-hit-the-fan, as your go-too.

My little girl is 19.  She's finding her groove and walking out her own path.  I'm proud, she has one hell of a Daddy who has been there and done that.  I'm blessed she's OK with that, embraces it, and loves and respects me.

A special thanks to you readers who have followed my life on the jail-bird.  I intend to write more in an attempt to begin the transition back into society.

Until next time...