Bumper Sticker History

My girl and I recently had a discussion about the changes in society.  Long gone are the days of tossing your keys on the floorboard of your unlocked care while you run into the store for a soda.  Nobody even picks up hitchhikers anymore.  Danger lurks at every corner.  Well, this is how I see life. 

This topic is heavily debated between my lady and I since she sees the world through her bubble.  I say that with all due respect.  It's things like this that make us such an awesome couple.  She is sweet, nice and would give you the shirt off her back.  I believe the nice guy finishes last and that only the strong will survive.  If you can't hang with the big dogs, then stay on the porch.  You can't have my shirt either, go buy your own. 

Somewhere in the middle my lady and I laugh, and agree to disagree.  Then I tell her "hell no, you can't pick up that hitchhiker!!  Are you crazy?!"  You can follow the downfall and dangers in society through any history book.  Here's a new one...

Try reading bumber stickers.  Bumper stickers used to have smiley faces and say "Have A Nice Day". 

Stuff like "Save the Earth". 

There was an entire era of people claiming "dazed and confused".  Times change and it's "NO FEAR" 

 and "If you don't like my driving, call 1-800-EATSHIT".

No more Mr. Nice guy.  History plays itself out on the rear bumper of the car in front of you.  It's a fact.  Just like parents can decide not to have that talk with little Johnny about the facts of life.  Instead, Johnny's friends and the television can educate him.  That's the problem I'm addressing here.  Everybody putting responsibility off on someone else.  That's why you can't leave your keys in your car anymore.  Little Johnny will jack your ride to go....who knows what with who knows who.

And you thought he didn't have a clue.  I personally know a little dude who can use a string of four-letter-words in their correct grammar and put pirates to shame.  I also know his mother isn't teaching him those words.  He's probably friend little Johnny.   Really, he's probably just reading the stickers on the ass-end of the car in front of the school bus.

I remember being young.  The car in front of ours had a little hand that waved back and forth when they hit the bump in the road.  Now, the waving hand has been replaced with a middle finger.  Everybody runs around pissed off.

Truly, I admire the happy place my lady has painted around herself.  You had to be just a tad gullable to end up with me.....right?  I kid....

My lady still thinks there is hope for me.  She's one of the sadly mistaken women who thinks she can change her man.  And she's totally smiling as she reads this.  she knows full well she already has.  That's why I talk all my shit to you.....she tells me to shut up.

Just one last thing honey...do not pick up that hitchhiker!!