Wild, Wild West

So, here I sit listening to some country music drawing the American Dream. OK.  Perhaps not "America's" dream, just some dude's dream....which would be a chick with a big gun.  Likewise, women may share that same dream.  Well, a man with a big gun.  And.....that opens up a whole new topic.  I am now a convicted felon, and not allowed to own a firearm.  So, instead of a gun hanging in my truck's back window, there will be a bow with some arrows.

The other day, I promised my lady that I will still keep our home safe and secure.  No, I cannot pop-a-cap in an intruder.  Instead, he will feel like he stepped into the wild, wild west.  Meet Ted Fuckin' Nugent. 

Break into my house and I'm gonna light your ass up like a trophy buck, then I'm gonna do a little warrior dance.  I told my girl that instead of a musket above our fireplace mantle, we will hang a recurve bow.  She laughs.  She is always laughing at me.  I asked if I can wear a coon-skin cap.  She doesn't care.  Most women would recommend counseling, or some meds....not my lady.  She says I'm sweet. There is really nothing sweet about me.  I mean I hope that someone does break into my house just so that I can shoot them with a bow, in a coon-skin cap, and then do my warrior dance.


Hmmm.  This topic presents another aspect also.  Most fathers pass on hunting and fishing to their kids.  I possess a number of talents.  Not many should be passed to the younger generation.  Looks like fishing it is.  Thing is, fishing is boring.  So then we throw rocks in the water.  I may not be able to shoot guns, but I can throw a mean rock.  I'm also a fairly good shot with a bow. 

Do you suppose David's daddy was a felon?  Well, I mean he taught David to use the sling so well that David killed Goliath with a rock.  That's a pretty good shot. 

So, I see my kids telling their friends...."Well, I can't come over today because my dad is taking me to shoot the bow and practice the sling."  Really, that's fine.  Too many kids sit inside with a Nintendo controller in their hands.  My kids?  They are going to roam the neighborhood with sling shots.  HA!  The only time I'll get to shoot a gun is on their Nintendo.  That's a plan....I'll send them outside to throw rocks, while dad takes over the Nintendo.  Ahhh....parenting isn't so hard after all.  I will need to make sure the kids are throwing rocks at someone else's house....not ours.  (Oh, settle down....I am joking!  Well, not about not throwing rocks at our house.  But, I do know that they shouldn't be throwing rocks at anybody's house.) 

OK.  Just one more thing.  I have been listening to a  lot of country lately.  Zac Brown Band!  You guys ROCK!  Rascal Flatts, could you put some bass in your voice?  The lyrics are great though.

Hmmmm....I guess that's about all for now.  I'll check back later.  You all keep it real now.