"Listen, Ester. I had some funny shit happen to me today. It seems that even I can still be uncomfortable. Truly amazing, huh?
Before prison, I was ‘playing the field’ as often as possible. I try to be a well-groomed man in every way. …Manscaping being a big part of that. Since prison, I have let things go.
I do, however, still shave my balls. Between exercising, running and sweating, it’s more a cleanliness thing for me now. Why I feel the need to explain, I do not know….
So it’s time to shave the nads. Nobody is in the shower, so I jump in, lather up, grab my balls and begin to shave. You may have guessed… oh yes, here comes someone else to take a shower as well.
Surprise, Dude.
I am a convict. You have to follow the code and respect the other man. If I had been jacking off, I would have needed to say, “Give me a minute to finish up.”
However, I’m just shaving my balls.
Well, this is a first for me. What to do? Follow the code.
“Hey, brother, I’m shaving my balls, just so you know….”
He says, “Oh, no problem” and steps in.
Then he says, “I prefer to shave it all off – why stop with the balls?”
Two full-grown men, feet apart, in the shower, naked, one shaving his nuts! What’s the very first thing that comes to my mind? ‘Oh my god, I have to write about this!’
Ester, I’m going to hell!
I know this guy is watching me, but it’s not sexual! He sees I’m nervous and trying to rush. He says, “Slow down, man, slow down before you cut yourself.” …That’s when I realized he was watching.
Then I just gave up…decided to take my time and do it right. He then recruited me to play on his softball team. HA! Softball! W.T.F.?
I’m thinking, ‘I have to blog this,’ and then I’m thinking, ‘Is this how women are?’ I mean, you all go to the bathroom together. Do you chat about masturbating and shaving private parts? (Note: You don’t need to answer that).
I just wondered if this is normal, or have I been warped? Eh… probably warped."
I just wondered if this is normal, or have I been warped? Eh… probably warped."
4 comments:
I think this may be the most fantastic thing I've read on the internet today. I'm an old school chum of Ester's...a very old school chum, now that I think about it. And Ester, I really want you to know that your pictures made this entry. Also, girls do shave/talk about shaving all kinds of things together. My friend and I used to shave our legs together in the bath, after dying our hair. So, yeah. I've actually been reading this is pretty much the first time Ester posted this on Facebook, and I just wanted to say: Keep up the good work!
gross.
Great reading ... hilarious story.
I'm curious what skills and/or attributes the dude saw once you "decided to take my time and do it right" that made him think ... Hell yeah, I want THIS dude on my softball team! Regarding his preferring to "shave it all off," it is said this can add a few inches to the appearance of ones manhood. Just a thought ...
Is this "normal?" Have you been "warped?" I'm thinking you might be asking the wrong crowd. haha Have I ever talked about "masturbating" or "shaving private parts" with other woman? Nope, but I've joined many a conversation with my boys as they discuss such practices amongst themselves ... more times than I care to recall. Now ... what were you asking about being normal or warped? lol Eh ... it's all relative.
Thanks for the great laugh. :)
LMAO!
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