Remembering Amy Winehouse (UPDATED by Michael)

This morning, I [Ester] had to look up Amy Winehouse.  Of course, I was one of millions who woke up to a Facebook wall filled with comments about her, when she died July 23.  But I didn't know much about her.  I remember her single "Rehab," but had never really seen photos of her.  I had heard Chelsea Lately crack a few jokes at her expense, and it was the first time I had ever seen her face.  Winehouse was a wreck.  I don't spend much time looking at celebrities or looking up celebrities, don't really watch much TV, etc.  So, unfortunately, the only images I have seen of Winehouse were devastating.  I didn't know all the gossip, or rumors, or truths about her drug addictions.  I have never followed celebrity business.  However, when Michael sent me this portrait, I did not know who it was just by looking at her face because I had never seen her looking... healthy.

This morning, when I scanned in this image, I looked up some articles and images online.

       

(C) 2006 Universal Island Records Ltd. A Universal Music Company.

I'm not posting any "after" photos because I am sure everyone has seen them.  ...Skin hanging off her bones, bruised and bloody.  Guys and girls, this woman was 27 years old.  I am 27 years old.  How does this happen?

Once I had looked at a few pictures, I was thinking about what her family must have went through, must still be going through.  How do you cope with losing a child at 27?  

Then I thought about what I saw in my brother when I hadn't seen him in several years, didn't know about his drug use, and was suddenly confronted with it when I was 18 years old.  He would have been 24 then.  All of the "My Life" posts are Mike remembering when he was in his early-mid 20s.  What if I had lost my brother like that?  What if my mother lost her son like that?  I hate that my brother is in prison, but brother, I would rather visit you behind that fence than visit you at the cemetery.      

To all our friends who have lost loved-ones who suffered from drug addiction, we still pray for you, we think about you, and we love you.

(Copyright M.S. 2011.  All Rights Reserved)

“The other Morning, I woke, made some coffee, and listened to the news.

Amy Winehouse dies… family mourns her loss.

I shook my head.  What a loss.  Had it not been for prison, I would be there myself.  Dead.  My family mourning my loss.

The other day a friend wrote, sharing some of the joys of parenting a teenager.  I wrote her back and told her if I was out, I would drug-test my kid.  This reaction came out so quickly that I even surprised myself.  As a kid, I would have shit if my parents asked this of me.

Then again, with no relief from the courts, my daughter will be 20 when I’m out.  I can’t exactly tell her to go pee in a cup… or can I?  Either way, your kid is gonna be pissed whether they are 14 or 20.

For years, I couldn’t even take care of myself.  Now I want to heal the world.

Scottie handed me his OK! Magazine with the article on Amy.  Then he says, “Mike, you should do something with this.”  We talked about the loss.  I don’t know Amy, yet she represents a beautiful, talented life taken by drugs.

It hurt me to do this piece.  Not only did I see her face, but all the others too.  I saw my friend Kimmy sitting on a dock, her toes in the water, being silly, a smile on her face.

I saw Chad, by buddy Corey’s little brother.  That first time I met him… that silly teenage grin, in a hurry to go nowhere.

These faces are gone.  They live on in our memories, forever in my heart.

I told yet another friend not to be afraid to set rules.  Your kid will hate them now, but in later years, will know it was because you loved them.  All the time’s I’ve fucked up… I knew I was dead wrong.  You only hurt yourself if you don’t lay down rules.  No kid likes curfews.  However, it shows you care as a parent.

After all the drugs I’ve done, I’m probably part K-9.  And if you ever decide to try me, don’t be surprised if I try you back, whether you are 16 or 20.  I don’t give a damn.  If I tell you to go pee in a cup, you will go and pee in a cup.  Don’t roll your eyes at me.  Your Dad loves you.  I’m losing time here, little lady.  I need your smiling face there.  My baby can’t become yet another face lost.  I won’t have it.  (And you better not be reading this blog, either!)

For the rest of you, tighten up.  This is your job as a parent.  Show your child you care. 

To my kid: I love you.  Always your biggest fan… don’t forget I can still reach you – even from here.  Stay off drugs and off this blog!