Sunday, March 10, 2013

Shakedown

This funny thing happened the other day.  Well, it's not, but it is at the same time.

I woke up late.  There were no call outs on account of a tornado warning in the area.  They let us sleep in and I wound up sleeping until nearly 10 a.m., which was nice.  Really I didn't do anything productive on this particular morning.  Then we had a headcount and after that lunch.

Lunch sucked as it generally does, but the fortified beverage was delicious.  I don't usually drink it.  At county jail, the mix "soft peter" into the juice.  I hate a "soft peter" so I never drink anything they tell me to drink. 

Today, I decided to drink the juice.  It's red.  Very sweet and tastes good.  I drink it all...then head back to my dorm.  I then decide I really want to go to reck yard.  Since a.m. reck never was.  On account of some tornado. Anyways.  I figure that a big cup of coffee would suit me nice before I head to reck.  However, another change of plans...

A shakedown. 

So they tell us to go sit on our bunks and don't move.  Fine.  But after an hour I am sitting on my bunk, crossing my legs like a school girl.  My eyeballs are floating and I have to piss like a race horse.  But the cops says absolutely not.  I must remain on my bunk.  I can't.  I have to pee.  Coffee, then red juice have me about to burst.  A second time I ask to piss.  The answer is still NO.  Ok....it's now time to improvise.

I don't want to pee in my coffee mug.  I have to drink coffee from it.  Besides....that's nasty.  Why didn't I think of it before!?  The sink of course.  There's a sink in my cell!  So, I walk over, drop my pants and hang my dick into the sink.  I feel immediate relief.  And just in time.  Here comes the shakedown squad.  They tear through our stuff for over two hours.  As soon as they're done, they tell us to sit down for our before dinner count time.

During this count I begin to read a book.  My mind is occupied when it registers I hear the sink running.  So, I look up to see my bunkie.  He has plugged the sink and as it's filling up he's lathering his face to shave.

I consider telling him, but as I open my mouth he dips his hands from the water to his face.  I gasp!  Cover my mouth to hold the nervous laugh back.  He goes on to shave his entire face, then use the plugged water to rinse off his face.  He then drains the sink and wipes the whole thing down.

Looks in the mirror and smiles then walks away.  I just shake my head.  Guess I don't have to clean the sink now.  He shaves with a BIC and lives with a dick.  Imagine that.   

1 comment:

Brooke said...

Oh, Michael....this is disgusting! It is unfortunate this happened, indeed. :p