Thursday, June 20, 2013

American Bad-Ass

Kid Rock's singing to me that "Only God Knows Why".  From my front row seat, knee deep in the a Florida prison, I declare that I agree.

I once was lost, but now I'm found.  Was blind, but now I see.  What I see is bunk beds stretched across an entire dorm full of sweaty prisoners.  Lost to the streets and lost t addiction, I found myself on the not-so free side of this fence. 

For five long years, I have laid my head on a  pillow hundreds of men have laid on before me.  Slept on a bunk that was one mans salvation and a thousand others nightmares.  Forget walking through the valley of the shadow of death, I pitched my tent and live in the bitch.

If drugs were my escape and way to bail on reality, prison was my reality check.  The battle grounds where I came to face my demons.  And I'm doing it sober.  When you spend your life running from that monster, prison puts you in a back alley with no escape, then puts all those skeletons right there with ya. 

Time to make like David and hit Goliath dead in the nuts with a small, smooth stone.  Or the forehead....whatever works.

Perhaps I don't always live right.  Seems somebody always has a finger pointed at me.  I swear too much, have too large of a voice and somewhere there's someone who wants me to take a seat.  Sorry, but that ain't happening. 

My momma's proud to call me her son.  She got to see me clean and free from drugs.  She knows freedom has nothing to do with fences and razor wire.  My freedom, and yours too for that matter, is found in your heart.  Freedom is a state of mind.

You have a world full of people that are prisoners in their own home.  Shackled to their job, the wrong partner, finances...others are enslaved to the bondage of religion.  They placed so many regulations on their life that they lost the very freedom they sought in the first place.

We do dumb shit, us people.  I broke the law, changed some peoples lives and consequently my life was also changed.  Changed for the better. 

If we learned to quit seeing roadblocks as dead ends, we all would brighten our tomorrows.  Not to mention the people you bless when they see you stand up and fight.  You become someones breath of fresh air.  Perhaps if people could lean to see past the tattoos and occasional cuss words, they would stumble upon the occasional nugget of inspiration. 

I don't know why you read this blog.  Chances are, I don't even know you.  We may never meet.  Still, I wrote this for you.  Even if you're not a fan of the way I live my life, I think that's cool.  I think it's cool you took the time to show love and hang on The Jailbird.  Yeah, even the haters just showed me love cause you just helped raise the stats one more.

And you know what?  I just raised a stat too.  One that suffers terribly every day.  Every day hundreds of people lose the war on drugs.  They lose their lives to addiction.  The beast.  Well, my mom won't lose her oldest son that way.  I too am a statistic.  One that boldly states change has come, change is here.  I face life head on and don't back down.  I fight for you what I believe in.

My family and the people who love me.  And I fight hardest for me.  I forgave myself for all my shortcomings.  The only question now is.....can you? 

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