My last bunkie sucked, and pissed me off daily. After over a year of sleeping below this guy, he finally transferred. Meet my new bunkie...
The new kid moves in. He's 26, and we get along good. He sits and watches me draw. He likes art. He's clean, and he is silly stupid...just like me. We can make the whole dorm laugh, much like me and Scottie use to do. "HI SCOTTIE!!" :)
So late the other night, me and the bunkie are still awake. The dorm is quiet. No noise. We can whisper and be heard. All of a sudden my bunkie pops his head over the edge, like a freakin' squirrel and says, "Mike!" in his normal, loud voice. I say, "What dude?" And this is our conversation, in the middle of the night. Lights off. Voices at normal volume...so the whole dorm of 72 dudes hear this shit...
"Mike! I know you're a panty snatcher!"
I say, "What the fuck are you talking aboug?"
He goes on..."Dude, I know you're stealing my panties."
Ok, this is fine. So we're gonna play. You put me on blast, I'm gonna put you on blast. So I reply with, "Bro, I don't want your panties, and quit leaving your high heels beside my bed. You're making the block hot."
Now, dudes are waking up. People are now laughing. Hooting. Cat calling. We are center stage. He then points at my laundry bag, which is full of clothes and says, "Bro, I see your bag is full of panties. You can't hide that bag!"
"Ok, yeah, you caught me bro. Maybe if you smelled more like a man we wouldn't have this problem. But you smell like a chick."
The bunkie is laughing. The whole dorm is laughing. And I'm inspired. So, I continue, "And listen. I'm only gonna tell you about these high heels one more time. Quit puttin' them by my bunk!" He continues to laugh, and yells, "Panty-sniffer!"
So, I continue..."And, if your gonna stay out all night 'trickin' you need to start coming home with some food. At least some soup or a honey bun. Don't tell me you just give that ass away!" (Uhh...see what I am dealing with here?) This kid is funny. Super witty. I dig the guy.
Right now it's 2 a.m. and again, he just leaned over the side of the bunk. "Dude! Dude! Put your radio on 101.5 fm!" (He's really excited.) He goes on...."Marilyn Manson is on and Beautiful People."
This may not be that crazy to you. However, my bunkie is black. And he listens to country and rock & roll. He hates rap music. This kids is a fuckin' trip. And together, we're nuts. He only has two months left before he goes home. I swear he's the best bunkie I've ever had.
I do a heavy chest routine. My pecs are freaky. This nut-bag calls them my "man boobs." He either calls me 'dude' or 'man boobs'. Yeah, it's funny as hell. I can't help but laugh. Some days I have the upper hand. The other day he tore me up with "Hey, man boobs! You know when you get old, you're gonna have titties! Then you can wear those high heels for sure."
All I can do is laugh. The kid's funny. Plus, I'll get beat up for a good laugh. He went off. Man boobs. God, the people you meet here.
I've been blessed. It helps your time pass quicker when you keep it light. This kid is 24-7 pulling pranks. I'll get up at 2 am to piss....come back and he's in my bed curled up. Fuckin' idiot. So, really this has no point. Just Part II of Eviction Notice.
I hope that you are blessed with a great bunkie. If you are not....hit him (or her) with an eviction notice! And don't snatch panties or leave high heels out. Someone could get hurt...or the wrong idea.
Word!!
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