I have a new bunkie!! Well, the chick that hangs above my head by a piece of tape is still here. She's not going anywhere... I enjoy waking up to her. She can stay, the other one had to go.
We began to clash after the first three weeks. Kind of like a good ole' fashion marriage. The honeymoon wears off, and all of a sudden her hair in the drain becomes a hurdle you just can't jump anymore. In this case it was smelly feet... moldy shoes... candy wrappers... the list goes on.
At some point or another we have all been in that relationship where our wheels are spinning. The only thing left to do is leave. Yet for one reason or another, we stay. In prison, you are just shit out of luck. So, I lived next to this guy for a year longer than I should have. Good news!! The bitch hit the curb! Uhh... the "dude" hit the curb... the chick is fine. I guess when you find a woman that you wish could leave her hair in your drain, well, don't let her get away.
So, the old bunkie is gone. I had three days of freedom. I'm now one month into this new relationship. That would be the relationship with my "male" bunkie.
God, this is confusing. Trust me... living my life is one wild ride. There is never a dull moment in either my romantic life, or my prison life. My woman is the breeze that fills my sails and rocks my boat. Prison is the motherfucker shooting cannon balls at my helm. Or is that the stern? Why am I talking like I'm some sort of captain and my life is a ship? In all reality I'm chained below deck to a freaking oar, rowing for dear life. Nah...I run this ship!
So the new bunkie is cool. I asked him what he does for work... he defrauded the government for two point 3 mill. Yes, sir. I like this guy already.
He then asked me what I do. Well, what do I do? I talk shit to people all over the country. And I draw pictures. And I shave my balls.
Last week the chain broke off the bat. So they took the bat... no more softball. I still enjoy America's best pastime. I still give myself one game a week. On occasion, we play twice a week. I've been known to pull a double-header, but that gives me jet lag... "minus the jet"... that leaves the lag. Ahh... but isn't life about pacing ourselves?
Don't forget to pace yourself. Don't sweat the hair in the drain... that means your baby is a little closer to you than mine is to me. Smile, it's great to be alive. :)
~The End~
J.J.
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