For A Limited Time....

I was just sitting here listening to my favorite morning radio talk show.  You know...when you really want to hear some music and instead all you get is blah-blah-blah.  Yeah.  So that's what I'm here doing when this ad runs.....

"For a limited time when you bring your car to MIDAS, 

we will visually inspect your tires, brakes and belts."

This made me laugh out loud.  What a line of complete horse shit.  What you'll get is some college kid fresh into some mechanic workshop.  Yeah.  He's gonna do some visual inspecting no doubt.  This is the thing.  Real men change their own oil.  That same man changes his woman's oil as well.  

These ads run for single mothers who have a piece of shit man in their lives.  And now they can drive to MIDAS and have some other piece of shit man inspect.  Question is....what's he really inspecting?  He's probably visually inspecting your undercarriage and your headlights.  Have you ever heard of a MILF?  (Mothers I like to fuck.)  Yep!  That's your MIDAS boys with too much free time on their hands.  

A 'visual inspection' is totally a man statement.  How lazy can you possibly get?  You ladies could seriously go on strike.  The next time your man asks you for a blow job......tell him you'll give him a 'visual inspection'.  See how he feels about that.  

Thank God you women are not like us guys.  You are sweet.  Well....most of you are.  

My lady was headed on a road trip the other day.  I knew better than to tell her to check her oil and tire pressure.  Yeah....I had to send her down to have her undercarriage inspected.  Fucking assholes.  I hope they looked at the car too.  

My sweet lady.  The boys down there at the inspection shop asked her to pop the hood.  She had to look in the owner's manual to find the hood release.  And that's why I don't need her under the hood of the car.  

At some point along my life's journey I grew up and have began to see women for the wonderful people they are.  Instead of giving visual inspections myself, I feel for women that are overlooked.  If you're a dude out there who has a woman raising your kids....go check the oil in her car.  Check the pressure and the treads on her tires.  Make sure she has some of that window-washy-stuff to clean her window with.  Drive her car for a few miles and see if anything sounds like it's about to fall off.  

Women don't seem to notice this shit.  They have kids killing each other in the backseat, the phone ringing off the hook and places to get to on time. They don't realize they are dragging their bumper and the transmission is about to fall out.  

So what if you don't like her any more.  She's driving your kids around for Christ's sake!  Come on dude...you see those kids in the backseat? That's proof that she was doing much more than a 'visual inspection' for you.  Don't be a MIDAS man, be a REAL man.