Praise The Lord!

Three thousand.

I hear that for 3-grand I can have the lasik surgery that will correct my eye sight.  For 3-grand I can have a pulled tooth replaced with an implant.

I didn't want to have the tooth pulled.  A year ago the prison's dentist told me I needed a root canal.  A year later they still have yet to "canal" me.  I know what they're doing....blowing me off until they have to pull it.  It's pissing me off enough that I'm about to have them pull it.  That's why I know the implant will cost about 3-grand.  I checked into my options.  A long time ago I realized if you want it done?  Do it yourself.

The tooth is directly in my smile.  That's why I wanted to have the root canal.  I have since decided that if they indeed have to pull lit, then when I replace it with an implant, the replacement will be gold.  Just so I can fuck with people.

And fuck with people is what I do.  And that's where three thousand comes up once again.  It's the number of hits this blog currently pulls in a month.  Cool huh?

I was shaving my balls the other day when it hit me.  I needed another tattoo.  Not on my balls.  That's not necessary.  Instead, I decided to finish my chest off.  The phrase Tattoo'd Hooligan is my registered trademark.  They call me the Hooligan here, so I had it tattooed across my chest.  And, I must say it's bad ass.  Now all I need is that gold tooth.  Then I can be a bad-ass gangster.

My new chest piece had me singing soprano.  However, my rib cage had me filled with the holy spirit and speaking in tongues.  I'm laying there wild-eyed and clenched fists saying "Praise the Lord!" 

No....I mean for real.  The other alternative was to yell, "Fuck me sideways!"  And that's not the sort of thing you want to yell out of your cell in prison.  No way!

All down my ribs it says: "There once was a boy...before you stands a warrior."  That rib cage is some serious shit man.  I kid you not.  Talk about separating the men from the boys....pussies need not apply.  

Speak of the devil, it amazes me a woman's tolerance for pain.  If you can't stand the pain and quit here, we say you taped out.  I'm not tapping out.  Tears can run down my face, but I'm not screaming mercy.  Fat chance in hell.

I recently drew a back piece for my sister.  When she asked me to draw one for her, I knew I didn't want no tramp stamp on my sister.  So I drew her a bad-ass piece since that's what I do.  It was way bigger than she expected and I halfway expected her to photo shop it down.  Not my sister.  Mind you, this is my very quiet, meek, humble and most conservative sister. 

Tattoo design by the Tattoo'd Hooligan, for his sweet yet bad-ass sister!

It amazes me the tolerance for pain a woman has.  Then again...most woman have to deal with some man whose a pain in their ass all day.  I guess they get used to it.  

As you read this, you just pushed the stats one more time.  Thank you, my friend.  Way to put some Hooligan in your life.