Hangin' Out With J.J.

(A note from Brooke, aka Michigan)

This weekend I hung out with J.J. on his turf.  It was a fun weekend filled with friends, happy families, a gourmet prison meal organized by the Jailbird and Chris, and a trip to the zoo.  Yep, that's right.  The zoo.

And the zoo is probably a good place to start.

It is a crazy trip to the zoo to get yourself a good spot in line.  If you do not get in front of the line, you may lose up to a full hour of good visiting time.  I'm from Michigan.  Not only did I travel quite a distance to visit, but a visit with J.J. is not a frequent occurrence.  It was almost one year ago when The MOM, Abby (sister) and I went to visit.  I know better than to show up just before they start calling the first five.  I am more than prepared for early mornings to get in line and enjoy a full day of visiting.  But, I was not prepared to race people to the seats.

Last week an officer announced (to those that were actually there last week, of course) that visitors could not be on the state property prior to 7:30 a.m.  So, those that were aware of this line up their cars at the driveway.  Buuuut, the signs posted at the benches (where you line up) highlight that spots on the bench is first come-first serve spots.  So, regardless of how the cars are lined up, some literally jump out and race to the benches not caring about your place in line.  What would you do?  Respect those that arrived early and got in line, or race to the bench and proudly deem a hot spot for your hot ass?  This is a hard question to answer.  The first day of visiting, I had no idea about this rule (the signs only highlight the benches and do NOT highlight at what time), and the officers did not ask me to leave the parking lot and line up my car.  I arrived plenty early (around 6:30 a.m.) and saw no cars lined up. The next day, I decided I needed to get in the line of cars.  Now that I know about it, it is respectful to line up accordingly.  However, that landed me a couple of hot spots down.  The good news?  It wasn't enough to lose too much visiting time with the Jailbird.  Plus, I understand the love that drives you to want to be first in line.  Everybody there is missing their loved one.  Their husband, their son, their brother, their lover, their friend.  If anything is going to create a group of adults to race each other to a bench, love is certainly a good thing to race to. 

More importantly, you are not hangin' at the zoo all day.  Not at all.  Although the visiting park is still a big ole' box of cement, the officers here are amazing.  They help create a park-like atmosphere where many small family reunions are gathered.  They allow families to be families.  (And they enjoy picking on you.  Thus, my new nickname, "Michigan".)  Mothers can hold their son's hand.  A wife can hug and kiss her husband throughout the day.  Everybody, regardless of what you are wearing, is treated like a human being.  Being that everybody IS a human being, that is quite refreshing to experience.    

On day one, we hung out with friends.  J.J.' s buddy Chris and his mother decided to join us at the park.  You have met Chris before.  My heart smiled to watch the two of them be free for the day together.  (Not like free-world free, but you know how J.J. talks about "going to jail" when he is sent to confinement.  Sounds strange that a prisoner can still go to jail, right?  Much like that analogy, the visiting park provides a sense of freedom.)  We spent the day laughing, telling stories and living life together.  At lunch time, J.J. and Chris had a great surprise for us. They planned a big prison goulash, cooked exactly the way they do on holidays or for somebody's birthday.  The plate of chili, refried beans, crunched up Doritos, cut up hot wings, and cheese squeeze all folded up into a huge sheet of Ramen noodles and Fritos mix, was delicious!  (Honestly, it was super good!  And, sweet that they planned something special.)

On day two, J.J. and I reminisced about a long time ago when we first met.  We were only kids.  We laughed about how different we are, yet how much we understand each other.  We made plans.  We told stories.  I asked too many questions.  (He'll have to get use to that.)  We sat close all day long.  Held hands and hugged.  I could even lay my head on his shoulder.  And the officers smiled.  (At the last camp, you were able to hug your loved one when they first arrived and when you said goodbye.) These guys appreciate that it is healthy for the men to come to the park and be loved.  For many reasons.  Many of which help them when they go back to the zoo they live in.  And, I was able to meet a few dudes that have or will be doing shout-outs to their families.  It was a blessing to see the joy it brought the men AND their families to talk about this very blog and the blessings it has provided them as a family.

Hold your loved ones close to you.  Every moment with them is a gift, enjoy those gifts!

 “Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. 

Time, effort, and imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any 

relationship flourishing and growing.” -Jim Rohn