Copyright M.S. 2010
This is a tattoo Michael designed at my request, when my husband returned from a year in Afghanistan with the military, his second year-long deployment in 3 years. This was before the blog project started up, so I am gleaning pieces from the letter he sent with it.
“Ester…as you see, I drew you that picture. Well, it’s as much for [your husband] - you asked me if I would draw him something. I realized I really hadn’t drawn you one yet. …In your words, you asked for a ’bad-ass’ picture. I feel the picture is bad-ass, however, if not bad-ass enough, I also wrote bad-ass on it.”
[To my husband]:
“I have not had the chance to meet you. Unfortunately, it may be many years before we have that chance. What I know about you makes me like you. You love and care for my sister, and that is important to a big brother. I love my sister very much. I missed a lot of her growing up. Coming to prison has slowed me down… I see how much my sister loves you, and I can’t help but feel the same. I am happy to have you as a part of our family.
“Ester wrote and asked me to draw you a picture, possibly for a tattoo. That’s what I do. …Well, not lately since they sent me to the box last time. Not much fun in there. So I jumped at the opportunity to put something together for you. Normally I would ask you what you like, if you have an idea of what you want. In this case, I couldn’t do that. However, I know a little bit about you from my sister. You’re all she talks about. You care about your country, you drink P.B.R. and like to play hard. …An all-American guy. I was tempted to use the rebel flag” [note from Ester: thank you for not being tempted too much] “…but instead I just put a twist on the American flag - literally. I see flags all the time, but I wanted to do something unique for you.
“I’ve twisted the flag and made it a little abstract. I placed the banner in the middle and considered putting your name there - your unit or company or whatever you like. I’m a Kid Rock fan and just wanted to use “Bad-Ass.” Plus, Ester said to make it bad-ass for you….
“All I had to work from was a sketch of the tattoo you already have. Ester sent it to me, so I drew around it. Sometimes guys want to cover things, but Ester said this one might have meaning for you, so I used it. Yes, the Statue of Liberty is a little off. I couldn’t find a picture, so I drew it from memory. My homies say it looks like a dude. Well, fuck ’em. I was considering putting a smoking gun in place of the torch - now that would be raw! - but I left the torch.
“When I think of our country, the eagle comes to mind. Our grandfather fought in World War II, and he passed away two years ago. In memory of him I have a flag and eagle wrapped around my wrist to elbow. I put an eagle tearing out of the corner on yours. All in all it’s pretty patriotic. I tried to rush deliver it by the 4th of July. I’m kind of funny like that. I had my grandfather’s memorial piece done on Memorial Day. My tats mean a lot to me. They each have real significance. Every tat I have has its own story.
“…Whether you just enjoy the art or use it for a tat is up to you, but there it is. Every time I put a small tat on me or anyone else, it always is added onto. So bigger is better. Put it in high gear dude! Lay that fucker on there, elbow to the crown of the shoulder. That’s a half-sleeve and a cool one at that. Let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you. Hell, I’ll put it on you when I get out, but that’s a long wait. Take care of yourself (and my sister).”
Much love to you,
M.S.
2 comments:
Something about this post made me cry, like really tears streaming down my face. I'm trying to put my finger on just exactly why. I think it was several things. Not the least of which is the way you talked about your little sister. And the way you were appreciative of how her husband loves her so much and treats her so well. I always wanted a big brother, all my life. I longed for one, still do. And your letter to Ester's husband just touched me so, as I said, to tears. I'm not sure why, but it did. I remember Ester showing me this picture quite some time ago. I loved it then and love it all the more now that I hear you talk about why you drew what you did. I think a pistol instead of a torch would have been so bitchin! haha Certainly for the picture, but not so sure I would want it for my tattoo. I got my first tattoo a year ago last December. Yep, at the age of 52 I was the fist in my family to get a tat! haha I have wanted to for such a long time, but never had quite enough nerve. I also didn't know what I wanted. I think a lot of things are cool or pretty etc, but if I was going to get a tattoo I wanted it to mean something to me, it had to have some special meaning for me to permanently put it on my body. Shortly before Christmas of last year a dear friend of mind was going through a cancer scare. Breast biopsies etc. I, myself, was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 40 and subsequently had a bi-literal mastectomy. I assured her I would be by her side and hold her hand every step of the way if the news was anything other then wonderful. I told her I would hold her hand during chemo and shave my head if she lost her hair. Well, just being a smart ass, I mentioned that we could get some badass tattoos on our bald heads, if that situation should arise. To which she quickly replied that she had always wanted to get a tattoo. I kind of squealed like an excited little girl and said, "Me too!!" haha Long story short, um yeah not so much ... too late! As I was saying, we both decided we would go that very weekend and get tattoos together while she was waiting for her biopsy results. One of my favorite words is hope. That one word has gotten me through some really tough times, merely thinking, there is always hope. So I got hope on the inside of my right wrist. Yes, not much, but it looks really cool and I love it! Not sure why I felt the need to share my tattoo story, but I hope you don't mind. And again, thank you so much for sharing so much of your life with us. This post just moved me so.
SweetMelin, that comment means more to both of us than you could know. The word "Hope" has changed the way we both see the future.
I don't have any tattoos yet, but I like the idea of yours. Thanks so much for your comments! I can see you didn't sleep much last night :) It really has meant a lot to me that Michael has embraced Andrew without ever meeting him. He asks about him in every letter.
You want an overprotective big brother? 'Cause I can do that for you :) haha
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