A Note from the Blushing Sister

I didn't ask Mike's permission to write my own post, but I assume I have a lot of liberties here since MY NAME is on everything posted here.  It has been a little bit of a struggle some days when I have typed up a piece (like Stripper Diaries) and I write Mike and say, "Uh... I'm not going to post that one quite yet.  We need to ease people into that."  I don't particularly agree with or admire some of the stuff that Mike has to write about from his past.  At first I didn't think I would have an attack of conscience when I went to post something that is all about objectifying women, but really there isn't any way I can separate myself from this project.  It's got my name on it, it's got my brother in it, and I'm not going to pretend like I have nothing to do with it.  I also had to take a long look at myself and realize that if I had the kahunas to write honestly about my past, I wouldn't want my name on that either!

I have kept a blog of my own and am deciding to put that project on hold for now, or forever, so I can focus on this project with Michael.  My own blog has been a semi-narcissistic public journal which isn't without its own purpose, but I am finding this project with my brother is much more meaningful to both of us than mine could ever be.  I love getting to talk to Michael and telling him about the new places we're getting hits from (there's a map at the bottom of the page, in case you haven't checked it out - say hello to yourself!).  He knows where his readers are from and it is really awesome to hear him get excited about the number of views the blog is getting.  In the future, it will mean much more to both of us knowing we did this together than it will matter to me that I continued my own.

There was a time not so long ago when Mike wrote me about 5 letters for every one I wrote him.  It used to be that I'd see an envelope from him in the mailbox and groan, 'Damnit!  I haven't wrote him in forever!'  I'd feel guilty, and half my letter in return would be apologizing for my 6-month hiatus.  Now when I get something from him, I can't wait to open it and see what's inside!  I'm not afraid to write him back and say, "Dude, that was funny but you were pretty skanky!  Eww!"  I now keep a Microsoft "Word" document open on my computer all week long and I give him stats on how many views the blog has, send him pictures of what it looks like, and pass on any questions or comments we get. 

I imagine if you know Michael and if you've ever received a letter from him, you might also have times when you feel guilty seeing one of those envelopes in the mailbox.  You don't have to!  If you want to leave a comment and let him know you stopped by, I mail out a letter every week and I make sure all comments are included.  He appreciates every one!

This project came about through encouragement from his friends as well as our need to 'bond' as siblings and as friends.  I might not agree with everything Michael says, but I love the hell out of him and I am proud to have my name with his on this project.  No matter what our friends might think, no matter what my in-laws might think (yikes! I hope they haven't checked this out!  haha!), this is the truth of the matter: My brother is in prison for a while, and there is nothing I can do about that.  He's always going to be my brother, and this is part of our family and part of our relationship and part of the story of our lives.  I am blessed to be working together. 

We both would love for you to ask any questions you would like to, leave comments even if they're not sweet, and let us know what you'd like to see more of or hear more about. 

Thank you for reading.

God Bless!

-Ester Jean

(Brothers & Sisters, Michigan, late-'80s.)