Today wrapped up another weekend, and the last visit I will have with my Mom for a few months. My mom means the world to me, and our visits are so special. I see her about once a year and when she comes to see me, we have a blast.
Not too long ago, I wrote about my dad coming to see me. Before my dad moved to the reservation, he saw me about once a month. Nothing was planned. There was seldom a set date. Dad’s visits were more like an afterthought. …Almost like Dad just headed out to buy some milk and on his way past the prison, decided to stop and say hello. Don’t get me wrong, a visit is a visit.
Mom’s more of a planner. She tells me ahead of time when she plans to visit. Mom tells me, “Son, don’t get in any trouble, don’t go to the box – I’m coming to see you.” Anything for my Mama.
So when my Mom said she would be coming to see me, I got excited. First thing, I go get a haircut. You think that’s funny, huh? ‘But you ain’t got no hair, Mike!’ Shut up!
They trim a little around my ears, thank you very much!
I do this because it’s really the only thing I can do. Not like I can go buy a new outfit. My Mom doesn’t care. She’s coming to see me :)
I said my mom’s a planner. The viso- park doesn’t open til 9 a.m. Still, my mom will be in that parking lot at 6 a.m., checking her watch to see if it’s 9 a.m. yet. I got my abundance of patience from my mother. I just learned how to deal with my ‘issues’ better.
…So what I do is sleep until they wake me up and tell me I have a viso. Well, what do you expect me to do, wake up at 6 a.m. and sit on my bunk waiting?
The moment arrives. My mom is let into the prison, and I wake up. As I scramble to get dressed and lace up my boots, my dear mother is buying coffee, applying cream cheese to bagels, and saving us a table. …And I’m finishing brushing my teeth. What, you thought I should just go without brushing them? That’s nasty!
Did I say my mom is a planner? As I stumble into the visiting park, wiping sleep from my eyes, my mom has prepared us a five-star breakfast (Mom, I love you). God bless the mothers of this world. The mothers who, in the midst of this, can make you feel like you are in their kitchen back home. My mom don’t see none of this – all she sees is me :)
Did I say I love you mom? OK then :)
The last time I saw my mom was over a year ago. My mom looks great. I give her a huge hug, then I hold her out so I can look at her again, then I crush her with another hug.
You all read my stuff. I’m a fairly good guy. Depends on the day, I suppose. Even that can change …at times, I am 100% asshole. I’m doing better these days. Thanks to good women in my life – like my mom.
All that hardness, the front, the attitude melts away in front of my mom. I transform back into that 6-year-old, blonde-haired, blue-eyed little boy of hers. The little boy who at times got lost along the way, but mysteriously emerges again in the presence of his mother.
We talk, we laugh, we catch up on lost time. Never once do I think about where I am, or what I have to go back to. Today I’m having coffee and a bagel with my mom.
At the very beginning, I warned my mom I was going to write about our visit. She knew I was dead serious. Writing is what I do these days. Mom knows she’s my queen. Mom is the only person who can tell me stuff, and tell me not to write about it, and I’ll listen. All the rest of you are out of gas. Mom gets immunity.
One thing I will share with you is my mouth. Yeah, so that sounds bad. …Let me explain. Not long ago, my mom made a comment to me. She said she likes what I write, and how I write, then she said, “but my God, son, your language is terrible!”
Because I love my mom, I have made a sincere attempt to watch what I write. You may have noticed that I try to be ‘cleaner’ with my language.
Friends, that is much easier to do on paper than it is in real life. In real life, I swear like a drunk sailor. My poor Mom… Now this is my take on this; when you swear on paper, it seems to last longer. Take “fuck” for instance. If that really bothered you, then you look back up at it, and yep! There it is again. But if we’re in casual conversation and I say, “These fuckin’ bugs are terrible today,” well, you see, it’s ‘there’ and then it’s gone. Simple, really.
So here are me and my mom, chatting away with my ‘fuck this’ and ‘fuck that’s.’ Mom didn’t even notice. It was great. And before our visit was over, Mom even said fuck three times. Yeah, she really did! It’s quite cute, actually. She leans in close to me and lowers her voice, as if it doesn’t count then. Three times, Mom – that’s how many times you said it!” :)
All jokes aside, Mom, you have seven children, and we all think you are the queen. You taught us that in order to have friends, we must be friendly. You taught us that we could do and be anything we wanted, to be peace-makers, not peace-breakers. You taught us to love one-another, and you taught by showing each of us unconditional love. We have put you through the craziest roller-coaster ride you never would have dreamed of when you looked into the face of your firstborn.
I can speak for myself (Ester) and Michael, at the very least, though I know on some level I am speaking for all of us kids: You have blessed us with your love, your compassion, your healing words and hugs, and all we want to do is become insanely rich so we can build you a beautiful beach house, buy you a gorgeous vintage Mustang, and let you relax in the sunshine with frequent visits from your children and grand-kids. When I was a teenager, all I wanted to do was become rich and famous, not because I am ridiculously vain and overestimate all of my talents, but because I just want to give back to my Mom so much of the beauty she graced all of us with our entire lives.
Mama, from all of us, Happy Mother’s Day. Thank you for being so very special, thank you for hanging in with us through our shenanigans, waking up to stolen cars, bailing us out of jail, and all the rest of what happens when you have 7 kids as determined as your 7 little stinkers are :) We love you Mama!
(DISCLAIMER: I received permission from NOBODY to post this photo and I think it is hilarious. Poor Mom was rallying the troops at 6a.m. or some other ridiculous time, and we all gave her hell. Sorry Mom!)
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5 comments:
Happy Mother's Day to the "Queen Mom" Mrs. Smith you most definitely take the the cake for sturdiest mom! My Mom would've knocked my teeth out if I put her through even half of what your children have tossed at you. One I have always noticed about your children (the few that I've gotten to know a bit that is) is the unwavering love they hold to each other and you! It has always amazed me how much they enjoy visits with the family. Even through the hardships your family is most definitely one to look up to! Happy Mother's Day!
I really enjoyed this post. It reminded me of my visits, thank goodness we can forget all the reason we're even in a place like that and just think about the moment, fun, laughter and way too many calories :-) Keep up the great posts. Later...
Sherri, thank you for coming around :) I am excited for you that you get to have your fella back soon!! I'll be making my way back though the states on a long road-trip and look forward to seeing my brother too, it's been 5 years, but one day soon I will hug him again!
& Erica, my mama is a champion :) Thank you for your comment as well. We all appreciate them!
Sherri--boy do I know what you mean!! Why can't they have some salad? Every time I leave there my stomach explodes on the next two hundred miles of highway; have to keep looking for rest stops and gas stations. I cannot believe what Michael will eat---guess that's what gives him the ability to do those "drive-bys" he recently referred to. Thank you Sherri for visiting and reading this and I appreciate the friendship between your son and mine.
Thank you Erica for the word's of encouragement. I have always prayed that my children would be friends. And they are truly there for each other; through the ups and downs.
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