J.J. Responds to Constructive Criticism

On Saturday mornings I have coffee with my mom over the phone.  We talk about our week, what’s going on with the family, and J.J.

This is me and my mom - The woman who brought me into this world.  I really share my heart with her.  We laugh, we cry, we keep it very real.  My Mom asked me to share with you all that we talked about this morning.  I think it touched her, a small revelation I had.  …So here goes:

“My Life” has been posted now.  Over the course of my life, there have been many people left hurt in my wake.  Have you ever thought back over your life and wished you could go back?  …Go back and fix someone you wronged?  …Un-break a heart?  …Take back something you said?  I have done this daily since I came to prison.  This is the torment a prisoner with a conscience faces.

Today, in a crazy way, I feel I’m doing exactly that.

When someone dies, there is a funeral.  A whole bunch of people show up to pay their respects.  You have probably been one of those people.  Sad you didn’t take advantage of time and call them just one more time.  …Troubled you didn’t suck up your pride and tell them you were sorry.  …Wishing you had told them you loved them.  At that funeral, it’s too late.

But at that funeral are a bunch of people who wish they could have just one more minute.

That’s how a prisoner feels.  …Like you were robbed of time.  That’s the bad news.  The good news is that I refused to go down like that.  So I’m changing that.  The J.J. project has become my way to have one more minute.  I want to take full advantage of this time I have with you.  Just as I cherish coffee with my mom on Saturdays – I cherish you having this moment with me right now. 

I hate to think about people I love dying while I’m back here.  I can’t even be there to pay my respects.  Don’t let yourself be one of those people.  J.J. has given me a chance to reach out and make people feel.  Laughter is many times what I am shooting for.  However, we’re getting to lots of emotions.

It was bound to happen… a conflict of interests.  I want all feedback – both positive and negative.  Last week I got the first negative feedback.

First, let me thank you for your thoughts.  Yes, there is a difference between ‘this’ and… was it Hustler you mentioned?  This is free and you have to buy Hustler.

There are things I don’t talk about on J.J.  Religion is one of them.  Not because I don’t agree with organized religion.  My father was a preacher.  We were taught religion and I grew up in a church.  Yup, hard to believe, huh?  Then again, if you really think about it, it’s not so hard to believe at all.

I had sex with girls in my youth group, went on to be a drug-dealer, a drug-addict, and then topped it off with a 12-year bit in Department of Corrections.  I have watched each of my brothers and sisters choose their own paths in life.  We all stumble and fall, yet we are ok.  I am happy to have been taught about God, peace, and above all else, forgiveness.

At this time in my life, I’m not preaching to nobody.  I see jail-house religion every day, and like you said, preacha’ man, I want none of it. 

I’m guessing by your comments, you read one of my stories meant for the laughter aspect of this project.  Sorry you didn’t find a laugh.

I respect that.

We are judged by our fruits.  Mine may not be ripe for the picking right now.  But does that mean I’m not a fruit tree?

Bottom line, I see you brother.  We’re not fully on the same page.  I do not and will not ask a righteous man to compromise.  However, I ask one thing of you.  When someone I reached out to puts the needle down and decides to come to your church for guidance, please accept them with open arms.

The wheel is made up of many parts.  Let’s not put each other down.  I’m just trying to reach a little farther into the darkness than you can.  …After all, that’s where I lived myself for many, many years.  In the end, it wasn’t any preacher man who came in there to get me, but God Himself.